The Reason for the Silence
You may have noticed that I haven’t been blogging regularly since the middle of December. That is because I made a conscious decision to step back from many ventures during the Christmas season to focus on the most important areas of my life. I focused more on family and the celebration of what the birth of Jesus Christ means to me.
Also, in December I had been increasingly afflicted with the extremely low energy associated with Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome. As the daylight hours reduce at this time of year, the ability of my body to function decreases as well. Even the simplest of tasks takes exponentially more energy to accomplish. So I ended the year refraining from blogging.
As I increasingly pared back on what activities I attempted, I found myself discovering what I valued most. My husband and I grew closer together in our prayer and Bible study times together, as well as those that we shared with our daughter. We communicated more with one another what we really value and the dreams that we have. As a family, we didn’t worry that we didn’t have a lot of money for gifts at Christmas, but dreamed of ways to do the most with what we had.
I became a baking fool. I literally spent 2 weeks in the kitchen baking various candies and a few other baked delights to hand out to some friends. Steve’s work alone had 18 little packages of goodies which yielded smiles and happiness at his workplace. I guess one of his coworkers in particular found that she is somewhat addicted to my Buckeyes (chocolate covered peanut butter nougat balls). I did somewhat perfect the peanut brittle this year too.
We mailed off Christmas packages to relatives via Priority mail to arrive before Christmas only to find that 2 of the 3 were addressed wrong and returned the second week of January!! Argh! However, we did spend a lovely Christmas Eve at Steve’s folks and had a wonderful lamb feast with family before returning home between bad ice storms.
As New Year’s Eve arrived, I was ready to put 2009 behind me and start a new decade.
The Christmas Gift
The manger stays empty until Christmas Eve.
As economic times are tough, I have had a real challenge of figuring out about what gifts I might be able to afford. There is just no way to be able to do the usual extended family Secret Santa gift exchange this year. The family vehicle needed repairs that cost more than our Christmas gift-giving budget would have been.
So, I have had a chance to think even harder about the really important aspects of Christmas being so much more than pretty presents under the tree.
I want to share with you a family tradition that we have had for several years. Front and center under our family Christmas tree is placed a small manger. We place raffia straw in it and it sits that way until Christmas Eve. The last thing that I do before going to bed on Christmas Eve is to take a baby doll and swaddle the doll in burlap and lay it in that manger. THAT is the greatest gift of all. That reminder greets our family when we desend upon the tree Christmas morning.
Emmanuel, God with us…. what a wonderful gift! To know that God gave His only son so that we may be called His children forever, if only we accept Him as our Savior. We were in such great need when we were dead in our sins. And now, as we celebrate with the lights of the season, the Light of the World has come. We have received the greatest gift of all!
There is no greater gift that I could wish for you my friend than that of Jesus Christ the Savior. Do you have Him? If not, He is waiting to be invited to be your Savior and Lord. Once you have received that gift, what more could you possibly desire?
When it comes to the very real human feelings of sadness that I cannot just go out and buy some things that I know would make my friends and family happy to unwrap on Christmas morning; I just acknowledge that I am sad. But, then I think back to that wonderful traditional claymation video that used to be shown every Christmas season on television called “The Little Drummer Boy”.
The little drummer boy was extremely poor and had absolutely no gift to give to the baby Jesus. However, he was able to play his drum for Him…. par rup up pum pum…rup up pum pum…rup up pum pum. And then, the baby Jesus smiled at him. How cool is that? Just a fictional story, perhaps, yet it is true that Jesus doesn’t require anything from us other than our desire to have a relationship with Him. Everything else that we do from that point on will bring honor to Him as we get to know Him more and obey what He teaches.
Merry Christmas!
On Heaven’s Front Porch
A few days ago my ninety-three year old maternal grandmother was told by her doctor that she realistically has about one month more of life on this earth. She has a kind of cancer that attacks muscle.
After a brief hospitalization, she had moved into a nursing home about a month ago. My mother and father have been especially busy getting grandma settled into her new living quarters.
At 93 years old, my grandmother’s body is simply wearing out. She’s had some failing eyesight and of course the reduced hearing without hearing aids that naturally come with such advanced age. However, she has remained almost entirely lucid.
My father reported that the doctor said Grandma had “two months to live and one of those months is over.” With such a pronouncement there is a more urgent air in how people treat someone. I know that my primary concern was if my Grandmother’s eternal destination was secure in Jesus Christ.
You see, both my Grandfather (he passed in 1992) and my grandmother would refer to “the man upstairs,” but didn’t really talk much about spiritual matters or other such things as they saw them as too personal to talk to other people about. However, my Grandmother knows how demonstrative I am about my love for the Savior and the Word of God, so she is very open to my sharing my beliefs on the way to learning more about hers.
In just such a way, I have been able to have fantastic one on one, soul connected time with Grandma.
I am spending more time just sitting alongside her on her bed, holding hands lately. We share remembrances and jokes, laughter and meaningful silence. Grandma says things like, “I’ll be outta the way pretty soon,” not so much in a pessimistic kind of way. but more of an acceptance that she doesn’t have much time left. As she puts it, “I’m just moving on to the next step.”
This is sad, however there is so very much to be thankful for. She is ninety three yet mentally aware of everything and everyone around her. She has eyesight and hearing and speech. Although she has a cannula for supplemental oxygen, she is not really hooked up to machines to prolong the process.
When I asked, “Grandma, what can I do for you? Anything.” She answered, “just pray.” “What shall I pray for you Grandma? Just tell me and I will pray right now.” “Just pray for peace and no pain.” And I have been continuing to do just that. Likewise, she said that it was alright for me to share with others.
Right now, I am praising God. Those prayers are being answered even now. She is not in pain according to her. And she is at peace, actually smiling quite a bit as we visit. Plus, I keep getting the feeling that when it is time, she is simply going to pass in her sleep.
I see it as Grandma is on the front porch to our heavenly home. She’s about to go inside, however she is lingering a bit on the porch to wave goodbye to the neighbors and loved ones remaining on this earth for a bit longer. God knows the exact hour of her passing from this earth and into His presence. However, we are hoping that we will have the blessing of her presence here for a bit longer. My sister in Denver is due to arrive in about two weeks and would like to spend some quality time with Grandma and give her one last hug.
Facing the inevitable death of my aged grandmother is indeed sad. I selfishly hope that she will linger longer with us. However, I thank God for the everlasting hope that we share. We talk about it now. She has moments of fear, and we talk together. I may not always be at her side, nor may I have any real power to help her, but God has promised us that He has everything under control and He is going to be here the entire time.
We spend time laughing and just enjoying being together. We talk about the Indiana Fever women’s NBA team that are one game away from winning the finals! The Indianapolis Colts football team that has an undefeated season right now. Both of these sports teams along with the Pacers are favorites topics of conversation for Grandma.
Tomorrow, I am going to bring the mandolin when I visit so that I can play and sing with her. She played this mandolin many years, but finally set it aside when it became to difficult to continue to play. My mother then inherited it, but didn’t play it, so my mother let me use it as some of the bands I play with needed mandolin.
I was surprised at how quickly I learned it. Wonderfully, this mandolin practically plays gospel music by itself and I am along for the ride! A friend of mine said it must be anointed from the many, many years that Grandma played all those “gospel sings”. Whatever, the reason, I am going to play for my grandmother tomorrow. She had helped me learn art when I was younger, and now, she helps me with smiles as I play her mandolin, that I have named “Dolly,’ since that is Grandma’s first name.
In closing: Dear friends, cherish your loved ones while you have them with you. Please excuse me, I’m going to just sit on the porch with Grandma for a while : )
Mother’s Day Blessings of Love
I believe that this is the perfect addition to the blog for today. In honor of all mothers:
I Love You Forever as read by the author Richard Munsch.
A very special HAPPY MOTHERS Day to not only those who ARE mothers, but all of us who HAVE or HAD mothers. This story is narrated by the author himself. Enjoy.
A Special Note to MY mother: “Happy Mother’s Day MOM! You not only gave birth to me that I may live, but pointed the way to my 2nd birth that I may live eternally!! Love you forever Mom!”
Dig – Dug Drag
Please pray for Steve. My poor husband has been digging for two days now, in the cold weather trying to get to the place where the lateral drain has collapsed. He is determined to uncover the spot by hand and THEN have a contractor come in to pull permits and actually perform the repair in order to save hundreds of dollars.
The only problem is, well, not having draining water for our household has already meant that he’s made a run to the laundry mat; lots of sponge baths, and fine china equals paper plates. I am thankful that so far he is doing a good job of not overly straining his back and also takes frequent breaks to recover from working in the cold.
He has removed a lot of tree roots, but still hasn’t uncovered the area that the snake prodding says is only about six feet from the clean-out.
You have to wonder what the neighbors are thinking. Looks grave-like especially with the black plastic bags of straw nearby. lol
Big Pain with BAD drain
Monday we discovered that we have a BIG problem. Apparently our drain from the house to the street has collapsed. Right before Thanksgiving we had a problem with draining laundry water backing up into the tub of the bathroom across the house while also overflowing the toilet. AAH!
Thank God I happened to have just gone to the bathroom so I was there to get everything up off the floor and also put up a dam of towels to keep water from getting to the carpeted hallway. Still I spent all afternoon cleaning up and bleaching. YUCK!
My husband Steve, rented a power auger and used it in the drain cleanout and things were better… we thought. It happened again… water is not draining from tub, for a very long time. When we go and glance outside, the cleanout cap has water oozing out, which means the pipe has certainly been blocked downline.
Several homes in our 1960s neighborhood have the “gopher dirt line” running from their house toward the street showing that they too had to repair/replace drain pipe. Apparently clay drainage pipes and plus we have clay soil, so FAIL.
Right now, we are only flushing 2 times a day. Sponge bathing and Steve 1 minute shower. At least Steve is able to use toilet at work for solid waste, but I am worried when my time comes. Gonna have to use a 5-gallon bucket with lid as a chamber pot and then impose on a friendly neighbor. We need this fixed ASAP!!!!
Now here’s where the real pain comes in. Normally, a repair like this would cost $3,000 plus. Steve has decided that he will use a snake, determine approx area of collapse, then dig by hand. Bigger pain, FRIGID weather. Ground is freezing up as we are having hard freezes in teens at night and 20’s or 30’s in daytime. PLUS Steve has a very demanding work load at his job, so not time to take a day off. So it’s gonna be slow going. By the time he gets home in the evening he only has about an hour of semi-daylight with which to dig. Plus the snow is coming.
I have a bale of straw in the back to use for insulating my roses and strawberry patch. So I suggested to Steve that he fluff some of that up into some large plastic lawn bags to lay down on the soil to try to insulate temperature of soil a bit.
We’ve already located the gas and water lines and Steve’s looked at the utilities map at the City. So, a shovelful at a time, he will dig to the collapsed pipe area and expose it. THEN, he will bring in the contractor who will pull the permits and actually do the repair. Steve can then help do the back fill to save more money. So we will get the bill from the thousands to the hundreds. All of this is gonna take so long to do : (
Please pray for my dear husband, that he doesn’t hurt his back, shoulders or neck during the endeavor, as well as his overall health as it is so cold and he is under increased stress of the situations. Thank you!
I praise God that we still have water coming INTO the house, so we are not without water. We have electricity, heat, food and communications. Most importantly, we are blessed to have each other. it will be interesting to see how this all comes out.
A “NOVEL” IDEA: I thought it would be neat to have a “Tom Sawyer Painting Party”-kind of event. Friends and Christian brothers show up with shovels and “dig in”. I feel so unhelpful, because I really would be out there digging myself, but God has me in surgery recovery “oh-n0-you-don’t” mode. Lord knows this is a very difficult place for me to be.
This life truly is a wonderful journey and even these trials prove to be an opportunity to learn and grow in love and understanding. Thanks for reading this.
If you have any experiences or advise to share, I would very much like to hear from you.