Procrastination: What’s ‘pro’ about it?

I am developing a plan to get a task done. Or is it that I am beginning to start to plan?  The prefix ‘pro’ usually means moving forward, bettering, such as in the word progress. Procrastination: what’s ‘pro’ about it?

Here is a video that someone sent me a link to. This was the inspiration for finally writing this blog. Something that I had been meaning to write for some time. LOL

WHY do I procrastinate.  Why wait to do what I know NEEDS to be done?  I believe there are a few things worth considering here. Perhaps the greatest deterrent to getting something done is FEAR. Fear of failure, or that I will mess things up. Maybe my bent toward perfectionism is screaming at me to “Wait! You SHOULD do it this way. This other way may be better.” It’s the dreaded “Shoulda, woulda, coulda”s of an overly creative mind that can bog me down. And, just maybe, it is that FEAR that overrides our desire to just get on with the task at hand.

Don’t get me wrong. I do believe that one shouldn’t just barge forth without any direction or preparedness. But I see that there is this (sometimes hard to define) borderline between appropriately pausing and taking careful steps to proceed versus stopped and not willing or apparently unable to proceed. A procrastination paralysis produces a productivity nightmare!

The solution? Ha! If I knew that I could be a millionaire as a result of all the motivational speaking engagements that I could do at the conventions full of the myriads of people who are searching for a way out. I would right a book and go on book signing tours.  Well, maybe someday.

Seriously, as I think about it now, I believe one of the biggest solutions to my bouts of procrastination is to face the fact that I am doing it. Call it what it really is. Procrastination in my case is a sin.

Does that seem harsh to you? Well, remember, this is in dealing with my own procrastination. I am going to treat it as a sin because sin is defined as being “off the mark”.  I believe that God does call me to be holy as He is holy; to strive to live a righteous and productive life. I also believe that the ONLY way for me to do that is by utilizing the grace of God given to me as a free gift when I became His child. At the moment of my salvation, I was saved. That is past tense. It’s a done deal.

Now, as I “seek first the Kingdom of God,” I am challenged to grow up into a better way of doing things. I daily “walk by faith” when I study the Bible and use God’s Word to transform my old ways of thinking and doing things into a better way. So, you see, if I am applying what I am learning,  I am always growing. There is no room for procrastination there.

As I face this personal sin of procrastination I need to remember to say “STOP! This is wrong.”  I must admit that I am choosing to allow my fear of the unknown future to allow me to enter into an old, prideful way of thinking that based my success on what I did and how well I performed.

So, for me, stopping procrastination is getting back on track. Stop what I am doing wrong, learn the correction, and do that. I actively choose to say, “Lord help me: remind me to place your love before my fears.”  I need to remember that perfect love casts out fear and practice that.  It does take practice.  That perfect love is available to me (and to you too) in the redeeming work of Jesus Christ who provides a way . . . the ONLY way out of the fear and into the love.

1 John 4:18 (NASB)
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

At this moment, I can say I am not procrastinating. How about you?

Silent Surprise says “Open Your Eyes”

DOWNTOWN INDIANAPOLIS- While I was putting coins in a parking meter on Meridian Street I glanced about the Indiana War Memorial Plaza and took in all the flags at half staff. Tomorrow is Veterans’ Day and most flags are at half staff in honor of a tragic shooting last week claiming the lives of many servicemen in Texas last week.

While taking in the serenity that was accompanying the sunshine on this fine, fall day, I noticed a peculiarity. There was a woman in white at the base of the flagpoles, all dressed in white, moving with tai chi like movements. No sooner had that registered when I realized that there was another woman several feet away mirroring these exact movements. They both were facing southward toward the World War Memorial Building on Michigan street where there were even more ladies in white making these same graceful movements. Now glancing all about, I noticed that there were about a dozen of these white clad dancers spread over the city block square area. What was going on?

Since I always have my digital camera with me, and my curiosity was peaked, I took out my notebook to collect some news. This is what I discovered.

I had stumbled upon RANDOM ACTS OF IMPROV. This was one of several surprise activities that will take place throughout the city during the ten days of the SPIRIT AND PLACE FESTIVAL taking place November 6 – 15th. (see Spiritandplace.org for more details).

This particular display, put on by Susurrus Performance Group (website click here) happened right at the noon hour, causing many city pedestrians stopping on the sidewalk and asking me what was going on. They joined me watching in wonderment momentarily before they continued on their way.

I believe that this is one of the goals of Susurrus and the many other performance groups partnering with the Spirit and Place Festival as they encourage some people to interrupt their mundane routine long enough to get involved in their surroundings; to stop and take notice of what is happening in their neighborhood. How refreshing it is to enter into a moment of wonderment and to take time to engage with other people that we would normally just walk by.

In that regard I challenge those of you in the Indianapolis area to keep your eyes open for surprise happenings and the opportunity to engage. There are going to be dozens of happenings over the next week that are unannounced. Thus, the Random Acts of Improv will surprise people. So keep your eyes open. Maybe we will learn to be not only see our community with fresh eyes, but perhaps, we might take it a step further and become actively engaged.

NOTE: not all events are surprises.  There are also 40 events–nature walks and driving tours, dance and theatre performances, conversations and workshops, panel discussions and potlucks, and much more! Over 85% of these activities are FREE!

Former Indianapolis Mayor Bill Hudnut will be present at the marque event on the last day. There is simply too much to cover here… so please visit the Spirit and Place Festival web site by clicking here.

Thank you to Susurrus and the Spirit and Place Festival (and the many other partners) for being such a blessing to our community by reminding us that we all can bless one another by just taking a moment to engage with another person in creative ways.

Halloween Best

What was YOUR best Halloween costume?

I have always enjoyed creative things and that combined with the idea of doing that and going around and collecting candy or monetary awards, well, that was just icing on the cake.

One of my best costumes was my unique spin on BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. You see, as a result of getting hit by a car in 1987 (see link for more info_  ) I had over thirty surgeries to my left foot, ankle leg, knee.  A couple of these surgeries resulted in the application of an external fixator. Many people call it a “halo” —I’ll take a halo any way I can get it apparently. LOL.

I joked around and called it a rotisserie because it had many wires running through my leg, between muscles and bones…like a chicken. It’s purpose was to hold the surgically placed pieces in place while I healed. Since I found myself in this contraption during Halloween, I decided to find a way to creatively use it. I would be the most realistic Bride of Frankenstein that many had ever seen!

Here is a photo of me posing with my surgeon Dr. Karl Raynor as the Bride of Frankenstein! I had a real electrodes strapped to me and working with my TENS unit (used to help with pain) with it’s flashing lights on my belt (not seen in the photo).

You should have seen all the people at the Walmart and on the street trying to figure out how I got those wires to look like they were passing right through my leg.  When someone was brave enough to ask, I told them that it looked real because it WAS real. Then I had to laugh as some of those same people looked like they were gonna faint.

I did get runner up at one party (held at a downtown brewery). The first place winner was an adult male wearing a diaper and a bib with a fake appendage sticking out through one of the leg holes. Give me a break!! I said “BREAK” not as in relief NOT as in another broken bone. . . thank you very much.

Please comment and let me know: What was YOUR best Halloween costume?

Being “In Love”

Inspired by a friend’s question: his exact post is in italics.

Open discussion post: What does it mean to you to be “in love” with someone?

Do you use that term, and if so, what’s the differentiation between loving someone and being in love with someone. For the sake of discussion, let’s presume romantic interest / attraction – so we’re not just comparing “I love my friends” to “I’m in love with my spouse”, per se. ================

The “in love” phrase leads me to think of the romantically interested in pursuing the relationship with the person even deeper. Feeling like you want to spent every minute just being with them.

However, when it comes to the general defining of loving someone I think there are degrees of love. We who speak English [even foreign accented LOL] are at a distinct disadvantage to other foreign languages like Greek which had at least 3 different words to immediately distinguish which degree of love was meant.

Kindness, friendship, caring, brotherly love, empathetic and sympathetic, nurturing, enticing and even passionate and explosive — we are dependent on adjectives to help us define our love, are we?

Nevertheless, IMHO “Love” at it’s utmost is wanting to do absolutely anything in my ability and within the realm of my moral beliefs for another person’s benefit, even if it means that I must sacrifice something of myself in order to bestow that benefit.

My perfect definition may seem like a cop-out to a lot of people, but I truly believe “God IS Love”.  And Jesus Christ lived as the perfect example. So the more closely I adhere to the practice of treating others as God does, the more loving I am.  Obviously, that doesn’t discount that there is an exclusive expression and bonding that I share with my husband that is of a deeper love than any other human. That is a wonderfully unique fulfillment of the “two shall become one” kind of love that God tells of in the Scriptures.

When we were “falling in love” I think we were infatuated with the feelings of drawing closer together as we saw that the other may truly be the life mate that God intended for us. I believe that we enjoyed being “in love” with one another because we were truly thankful for how the very presence of this loved one made us feel — fulfilled, happy, joyful, “on cloud nine”, tingly, understood, attractive, wanted, needed and cared for.

Steve and I recently celebrated twenty-five years of marriage after dating exactly four years prior to our wedding day. I can honestly say that I am still “in love” with this wonderful man. We have not always had the warm fuzzies for each other, each and every second of those years. However, I can absolutely say that I am more in love with him today than I was when I first met him!

When first dating we all have our best foot forward with fine clothes and dress, hair and makeup all set. Yet, to me personally, that is an external show that anyone can see. Much deeper love comes from peeling that aside and allowing the other person to enter into our inner selves. The transparency that we give to a loved one draws us closer together. Yet it is this act of opening ourselve up, that exposes us not only to deep hurt, but the opportunity for greater love.  True sharing of ourselves with another.

After we communicate the acknowledgements of shortcomings, the need for and grantings of forgiveness, and meeting and surpassing trials ; all of these hurdles have helped to grow our love even deeper because we cling to the true love that comes from God.

God promised in His Word that ALL things that come into our life would work together for our good. Not that each thing that comes into our life is guaranteed to be a good thing at the time. But, that we could trust that it would work out to be for the better. God promised that He would NEVER leave nor forsake us. He loves us so much that there is absolutely nothing that any person, thing, or power can do to separate me from His love. And that includes any stupid things that I do myself which might mess things up! Hallelujah!

Therefore, my answer to what does it mean to “be in love,” is that there is no other person which I would want to be with more, to please more, and to know even more. There is no one else that I can trust with my secrets, shortcomings and fears as much as this person who I am deeply in love with. And finally, when I am not able to be with this loved one in person, I ache with the longing to be with them again.

I’D REALLY VALUE YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT THIS <3

On Heaven’s Front Porch

A few days ago my ninety-three year old maternal grandmother was told by her doctor that she realistically has about one month more of life on this earth. She has a kind of cancer that attacks muscle.

After a brief hospitalization, she had moved into a nursing home about a month ago. My mother and father have been especially busy getting grandma settled into her new living quarters.

At 93 years old, my grandmother’s body is simply wearing out. She’s had some failing eyesight and of course the reduced hearing without hearing aids that naturally come with such advanced age. However, she has remained almost entirely lucid.

My father reported that the doctor said Grandma had “two months to live and one of those months is over.” With such a pronouncement there is a more urgent air in how people treat someone. I know that my primary concern was if my Grandmother’s eternal destination was secure in Jesus Christ.

You see, both my Grandfather (he passed in 1992) and my grandmother would refer to “the man upstairs,” but didn’t really talk much about spiritual matters or other such things as they saw them as too personal to talk to other people about. However, my Grandmother knows how demonstrative I am about my love for the Savior and the Word of God, so she is very open to my sharing my beliefs on the way to learning more about hers.

In just such a way, I have been able to have fantastic one on one, soul connected time with Grandma.

I am spending more time just sitting alongside her on her bed, holding hands lately. We share remembrances and jokes, laughter and meaningful silence. Grandma says things like, “I’ll be outta the way pretty soon,” not so much in a pessimistic kind of way. but more of an acceptance that she doesn’t have much time left. As she puts it, “I’m just moving on to the next step.”

This is sad, however there is so very much to be thankful for. She is ninety three yet mentally aware of everything and everyone around her. She has eyesight and hearing and speech. Although she has a cannula for supplemental oxygen, she is not really hooked up to machines to prolong the process.

When I asked, “Grandma, what can I do for you? Anything.” She answered, “just pray.” “What shall I pray for you Grandma? Just tell me and I will pray right now.” “Just pray for peace and no pain.” And I have been continuing to do just that. Likewise, she said that it was alright for me to share with others.

Right now, I am praising God. Those prayers are being answered even now. She is not in pain according to her. And she is at peace, actually smiling quite a bit as we visit. Plus, I keep getting the feeling that when it is time, she is simply going to pass in her sleep.

I see it as Grandma is on the front porch to our heavenly home. She’s about to go inside, however she is lingering a bit on the porch to wave goodbye to the neighbors and loved ones remaining on this earth for a bit longer. God knows the exact hour of her passing from this earth and into His presence. However, we are hoping that we will have the blessing of her presence here for a bit longer. My sister in Denver is due to arrive in about two weeks and would like to spend some quality time with Grandma and give her one last hug.

Facing the inevitable death of my aged grandmother is indeed sad. I selfishly hope that she will linger longer with us. However, I thank God for the everlasting hope that we share. We talk about it now. She has moments of fear, and we talk together. I may not always be at her side, nor may I have any real power to help her, but God has promised us that He has everything under control and He is going to be here the entire time.

We spend time laughing and just enjoying being together. We talk about the Indiana Fever women’s NBA team that are one game away from winning the finals! The Indianapolis Colts football team that has an undefeated season right now. Both of these sports teams along with the Pacers are favorites topics of conversation for Grandma.

Tomorrow, I am going to bring the mandolin when I visit so that I can play and sing with her. She played this mandolin many years, but finally set it aside when it became to difficult to continue to play. My mother then inherited it, but didn’t play it, so my mother let me use it as some of the bands I play with needed mandolin.

I was surprised at how quickly I learned it. Wonderfully, this mandolin practically plays gospel music by itself and I am along for the ride! A friend of mine said it must be anointed from the many, many years that Grandma played all those “gospel sings”. Whatever, the reason, I am going to play for my grandmother tomorrow. She had helped me learn art when I was younger, and now, she helps me with smiles as I play her mandolin, that I have named “Dolly,’ since that is Grandma’s first name.

In closing: Dear friends, cherish your loved ones while you have them with you. Please excuse me, I’m going to just sit on the porch with Grandma for a while : )

More Than Lip Service

This last week I have had a few more noticeable set-backs. As the clouds and wind build while we enter the Autumn season, there is more cold, dry air and pressure changes and less sunlight. All of this is the “perfect storm” of symptom exasperation when it comes to chronic pain and fatigue.

What I have also been learning is that it seems to also make my foreign accent much harder to correct. Prosody (word order) as well as pronunciation and word finding ability all suffer when I am more tired.

It is also notable that when I do not spend the day talking to myself (to the amusement of the dog and parrot, I’m sure) while my family is away most of the day, I find that my speech is MUCH worse when they get home.

I have recently made a renewed commitment to reading through my Bible over the entire year and am in Isaiah and 1 Timothy. I also use that time to read aloud and let the foreign accent show it’s full force as I read scripture. The FAS naturally adds a different feeling while reading as the emotions are different as the accent adds a unique flavor which is way different than my usual speech used to be. My speech therapist says that the reading aloud is good for helping create new neuro-pathways as well.  It’s a win/win!

The adage, “practice makes perfect,” may not really apply here, however, practicing out loud is how I actually hear the processing of the words and am then able to note it, work on it with some tricks to more closely correctly pronounce it, repeat and then move on.

Here is an example:  The word: people.  When I pronounce this word, it comes out naturally sounding like Pee–poo0.  I remember Terri Stacey actually giggled at that one.  The ‘l” sound just won’t hop into the right place at all. So I developed a trick. When I say the word “people,” I think about being behind an apartment door when someone rings the bell. I look through the PEEP-hole to see the people! By visualizing this trick, I can say PEEPhole and it more closely resembles “people”.  It seems like a lot of work, but it does work for me.

Then there is my “POOL” / “PULL”/  “POLE” –trick.  When I tried to say “pull,” it natually would come out Poo-wel.  So in order to say the sentence “Please pull the door open,”  I now FIRST say in my head pool/pole/pull… the two extremes of the vowel plus “L” sounds help me then settle into the middle sound which is the correct one I want.

Today I worked on the word “SCHOOL” which had a very similar pronunciation, but was much harder for me to develop a trick for. I finally settled on this: when I know I’m about to say “School,” I substitute “SK-wool”, while barely even touching the “w”.  I envision a sheep which has a price scanning SKU on it. SK-wool.  “Where are you going to school?” Weird huh?

Though there is a LOT of processing happening as I try to “fix” the pronunciation of words, the stress given them within the syllables of the word and within the words of a sentence, I am in affect, developing “tricks” to use on the tricky words (those that give me the most trouble). I joked with a friend at church, I sometimes feel like I’m a walking Tower of Babel.

However, that tower was built as a testament to what God could do and it was God who created the different tongues so that the people were forced to scatter. I find with this Foreign Accent Syndrome affliction of mine, people actually flock to me. People continue to ask the question “where are you from?” and make the statements “I love your accent. I could listen to you talk all day.”  The gatherings that come to me allow me to testify. This is what Foreign Accent Syndrome looks like in me. Then I sing a tiny bit, so that they hear my “real” voice. The jaws drop. Then, while their mind is open to the wonders that they just witnessed, the door is wide open for me to share with them how we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

More than ever before, I see how I MUST work to correct my pronunciation of the word “people,” because it is people I want to reach. I am learning, it is not so much the pronunciation that is a hinderance, it’s that I might not say anything at all to another person about the good news of the Gospel and the glorious hope that there is right now. It is not so important HOW I say it or about my fear of what the other person might think of me. What’s most important is that there is something of great value to communicate, so don’t wait. Who doesn’t want to receive an encouraging word and a smile? Or a nod and a statement like “oh, I’m sorry for your trouble,” or “I care about you. How can I help?”