ellen5e.com » Spirit

More Than Lip Service

ellen5e — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:19:14 +0000

This last week I have had a few more noticeable set-backs. As the clouds and wind build while we enter the Autumn season, there is more cold, dry air and pressure changes and less sunlight. All of this is the “perfect storm” of symptom exasperation when it comes to chronic pain and fatigue.

What I have also been learning is that it seems to also make my foreign accent much harder to correct. Prosody (word order) as well as pronunciation and word finding ability all suffer when I am more tired.

It is also notable that when I do not spend the day talking to myself (to the amusement of the dog and parrot, I’m sure) while my family is away most of the day, I find that my speech is MUCH worse when they get home.

I have recently made a renewed commitment to reading through my Bible over the entire year and am in Isaiah and 1 Timothy. I also use that time to read aloud and let the foreign accent show it’s full force as I read scripture. The FAS naturally adds a different feeling while reading as the emotions are different as the accent adds a unique flavor which is way different than my usual speech used to be. My speech therapist says that the reading aloud is good for helping create new neuro-pathways as well. It’s a win/win!

The adage, “practice makes perfect,” may not really apply here, however, practicing out loud is how I actually hear the processing of the words and am then able to note it, work on it with some tricks to more closely correctly pronounce it, repeat and then move on.

Here is an example: The word: people. When I pronounce this word, it comes out naturally sounding like Pee–poo0. I remember Terri Stacey actually giggled at that one. The ‘l” sound just won’t hop into the right place at all. So I developed a trick. When I say the word “people,” I think about being behind an apartment door when someone rings the bell. I look through the PEEP-hole to see the people! By visualizing this trick, I can say PEEPhole and it more closely resembles “people”. It seems like a lot of work, but it does work for me.

Then there is my “POOL” / “PULL”/ “POLE” –trick. When I tried to say “pull,” it natually would come out Poo-wel. So in order to say the sentence “Please pull the door open,” I now FIRST say in my head pool/pole/pull… the two extremes of the vowel plus “L” sounds help me then settle into the middle sound which is the correct one I want.

Today I worked on the word “SCHOOL” which had a very similar pronunciation, but was much harder for me to develop a trick for. I finally settled on this: when I know I’m about to say “School,” I substitute “SK-wool”, while barely even touching the “w”. I envision a sheep which has a price scanning SKU on it. SK-wool. “Where are you going to school?” Weird huh?

Though there is a LOT of processing happening as I try to “fix” the pronunciation of words, the stress given them within the syllables of the word and within the words of a sentence, I am in affect, developing “tricks” to use on the tricky words (those that give me the most trouble). I joked with a friend at church, I sometimes feel like I’m a walking Tower of Babel.

However, that tower was built as a testament to what God could do and it was God who created the different tongues so that the people were forced to scatter. I find with this Foreign Accent Syndrome affliction of mine, people actually flock to me. People continue to ask the question “where are you from?” and make the statements “I love your accent. I could listen to you talk all day.” The gatherings that come to me allow me to testify. This is what Foreign Accent Syndrome looks like in me. Then I sing a tiny bit, so that they hear my “real” voice. The jaws drop. Then, while their mind is open to the wonders that they just witnessed, the door is wide open for me to share with them how we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

More than ever before, I see how I MUST work to correct my pronunciation of the word “people,” because it is people I want to reach. I am learning, it is not so much the pronunciation that is a hinderance, it’s that I might not say anything at all to another person about the good news of the Gospel and the glorious hope that there is right now. It is not so important HOW I say it or about my fear of what the other person might think of me. What’s most important is that there is something of great value to communicate, so don’t wait. Who doesn’t want to receive an encouraging word and a smile? Or a nod and a statement like “oh, I’m sorry for your trouble,” or “I care about you. How can I help?”

Take My Life

ellen5e — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:48:22 +0000

I have chronic pain and chronic fatigue which means I quite often am not allowed by my body to do what “normal” people can do. I understand what the apostle Paul said about buffeting his body, as I regularly must force myself to keep moving when my body literally wants to shut down. Lately, the fatigue has really brought my daily functioning to a prolonged low.

I’m reminded that God uses even me as a “weaker vessel”. Not that I would chose to be weak and unable to be more productive by man’s standards. No way! Like the Apostle Paul asking to have his “thorn in the flesh” removed, God has chosen to not miraculously remove my affliction. Maybe it is to protect me from the sin of pride through accomplishment in my own power. Whatever the reason, I have seen how God can use me this way; flaws and all. For I KNOW it is nothing that I am bringing to the table. It is truly ALL God.

As it says in the Bible: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NASB) ⁹And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.¹⁰Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

One of my all-time favorite attitude adjuster verses is Phil.4:8-9.
“Whatever things a true, honorable, righteous, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent or worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”
I do hope I quoted that correctly, I have memorized it by using the memory minder “THoRP L GREWP”.

So, when I get discouraged by a situation, or set of circumstances, I purpose in my heart to look for the good. It IS there somewhere. I run through the list and go treasure hunting.

I want to end today’s post with some words from a favorite hymn called Take My Life and Let It Be “Take my life and let it be; consecrated, Lord, t0 Thee. Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise, let them flow in ceaseless praise.

I may not have much, but what I do have is all yours, Lord!

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It’s not working right!

ellen5e — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:15:35 +0000

Okay, tonight’s great project just obtained the title of FLUB. I had our Patagonian Conure (parrot) on my shoulder and video cam recorded a wonderful update about all that has been happening regarding my Foreign Accent Syndrome journey. I attempted to send it from the website I created it on, after viewing it for accuracy. . . and POOF! It was Gone!!!

It is now so late at night that I simply cannot continue. I must go to bed. Plus Oliver (the parrot) is in bed and he added that extra something to the video.

Therefore the irony of this post which started out to incorporate news mostly delivered by a nice little video, is now Kaput!!! As today’s geeks would say…”FAIL”.

It is funny that the very thing that I was reporting on is that my brain is not working right, my speech is still not right, and now, even my attempt at posting it on the internet is not right. I can take a hint; it’s bedtime. Just like so many of life’s other frustrations and attempts to stop me in my tracks, this is not a brick wall to stop me… rather… it’s just another hurdle to jump.

However, this hurdler is going to reenergize with some sleep before we go at it again.

Cartoon from http://www.runningromans.com

FAS Friends

ellen5e — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 05:33:01 +0000

I met with a new friend tonight who I call “Fishers Fran.” We both have Foreign Accent Syndrome, (an extremely rare

Eastside Ellen and Fishers Fran shake up a local Steak 'n' Shake. ---Photo by waitress Cloe.

medical condition that causes a person to speak with a foreign accent that is not their own) and live in the Indy area.

Fran had some friends tell her about hearing me on the WIBC 93.1 FM radio spots I’ve been doing over the last couple Tuesday mornings by invitation of the Morning Show personalities Terri Stacy and Big Joe Stayzniak. Her friends told her that she must listen. Then Fran took the initiative to call the radio station and they passed along my name and told her I was on FaceBook where she sent me a message.

Last Tuesday evening when we first spoke by phone, Fran had her normal voice. Her foreign accent came on suddenly for her along with left side neuromuscular symptoms back in 2005. Unlike me, her regular voice has returned, but she does have episodes where the accent returns for a few days. In fact she recently was interviewed about her Foreign Accent Syndrome story in an article for the April Issue of a magazine that is popular with the Catholic faith. I am sorry that I do not have the publications name right now, but I will edit this post when I have it.

Today she called to say that her voice has “flipped” so that she has the accent again. Her voice does have strong similarities to my own, but is definitely different. She can say some long “A” sounds that I cannot, and I can pronounce the “SK” sound that she cannot. So it was very enlightening as we met at a northeast side Steak and Shake for a friendly supper. Many patrons stared as we spoke and laughed together. Our waitress asked the inevitable “where are you from” question. To which we both smiled and replied “where do you think?” “Think” was pronounced “Sink” by Fran and more like “Tink” by me. Our waitress took a while to understand the fact that we are not FROM Europe and now living in the Indiana. Rather, we are both Midwestern Americans who are speaking with very strong foreign accents. She guessed Fran as more Eastern European and me she placed as Irish. LOL. Anyway our waitress Cloe was kind enough to snap our photo with my camera.

Given that there have been reportedly less than one hundred cases of Foreign Accent Syndrome ever reported worldwide and that so very few people, including medical professionals, have even heard of the affliction, I believe our budding friendship is an answer to prayer! It was encouraging to talk to someone who understands what it feels like to not have the voice/accent you have had your whole life. I feel greatly blessed by meeting her, and especially since she is within short driving distance.

We may have discovered a new comedy team in the making as well. We thoroughly entertained Fran’s daughters and husband with our silliness as we each corrected the others accent. Though our accents have some similar qualities, Fran sounds more Eastern block European (more Russian), whereas my accent sounds more French mixed with Norwegian. Her husband said that we sound like we are from different parts of Europe, but European all the same. I think it was an encouragement to her family as well as we were able to lightheartedly share our stories. Her family was able to see another person with the same thing happening so that they could feel less alone in the peculiarity of it.

Below is the link to a video that her daughter Celia shot of us. Please be kind to us as this was totally impromptu shooting so I am not wearing any make up and am looking more unkempt than I would have liked. However, the spontaneity of the shoot makes it too good not to post.

Foreign Accent Syndrome Friends

Now, I really would like to hear what you think about this post so please leave a comment. Thanks.

Friends: Angels in the flesh

ellen5e — Tue, 26 May 2009 06:52:31 +0000

This is a good opportunity for me to express my thankfulness for really good friends of such calibur that they can best be described as angels in the flesh.

One such friend is Alex Conner. Just tonight he used a video conference call to help me set up my Ellen5e.com site that I’ve wanted to get going for over a year now. Alex is a very talented Indy Christian Geek who really knows all the bells and whistles of the computer programming and code world. But more than just an extremely technologically gifted young man, he is a guy who treats others with the convictions of a true Christ-follower. He makes the extremely above my head concepts of attempting to understand the workings of a computer much more understandable. He definitely is gifted with super-human patience and a unique ability to explain things in a way that a person can grasp the meaning without feeling talked down to.

I went from having a somewhat depressing day of rain and frustrations, to actually being able to get something very substantial done… or at least a lot further along in its development. This is because of sacrificing of time for my benefit by one of my personal angels. Thanks Alex!! You are my angel for the day… probably much more like a week or month.

I encourage you to learn more about my friend Alex Conner- you can visit his website at http://www.stronglyopinionated.com

WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

ellen5e — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:48:00 +0000

I have had quite a few brand new friends who I have met via newmedia and on the internet who have never heard me talk before the “ATTACK” so when they hear me speaking on the recent video clips they do not think anything about my heavy weird accent.

ASIDE: By the way the votes for “What kind of accent do you think it is?” is leaning very heavily toward French and Swedish/Norwegian. One good friend has accused me of being a Russian spy. And one of my 4H dog club kids thinks I sound British like Victoria Stillwell of dog training fame.

BEFORE: To help those people who have never heard my “regular talking voice” here is a clip of me conducting an interview of an intercity ministry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JQjncoi9jc You will notice some hesitation in my speech as I am thinking of the questions off the cuff, but even a very untrained ear can tell I do not sound like the same person.

AFTER: Now… compare this to my most recent little clip from last night
http://www.tokbox.com/vm/b6ae3opqguin
You hear a very noticeable difference don’t you??
Friends, students and family are helping me to laugh about it, because if I don’t stay light-hearted enough it will make me want to cry.

THIS IS NOT ME!!
My regular voice is gone! Instead I am having to hear these weird accents coming out of my mouth. STILL, I am extremely thankful to have any voice at all. Can you imagine it?

I have had friends call me on the phone, and then just about hang up as they say “I’m sorry, I have gotten the wrong number.” I go into a quick “wait a minute! it is me, Ellen, don’t hang up!” Then I must give them some kind of fact that a stranger wouldn’t know, to convince them it is ME!! It IS me!!

It has now been a week and a half since the first numbness showed up, and almost as long that I have been speaking with a foreign accent. I sometimes get a bit down about the situation. No doctor has an answer about what is going on — we just don’t see any obvious signs of stroke or any bad tumor or anything on CT or MRI.

The speech therapist I saw on Wednesday was thinking maybe Bells Palsy, but some of the symptoms do not jive. I have just started finding something called “Foreign Accent Syndrome” mentioned on the web. So I will continue to research as I await my neurologist appt. on the 29th.

I praise God that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am being forced to
(1) speak funny OR (2) shut-up. Those of you who know my passion for communication (talking with people and about the Gospel) know which option of those two that I am taking.

Here are some things running through my head a lot lately:
“Be still — and KNOW — that I AM GOD!” –
We are fearfully and wonderfully made; tho’ this is scarey it IS facinating!
I must laugh because if I take it too seriously I will cry.
How much faith do I really have?
I choose to believe that God IS in control of even this.

What do you think about this? I REALLY want to know.
I am seeking any advice, ideas or answers anyone might have.

WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

ellen5e — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:48:00 +0000

ASIDE: By the way the votes for “What kind of accent do you think it is?” is leaning very heavily toward French and Swedish/Norwegian. One good friend has accused me of being a Russian spy. And one of my 4H dog club kids thinks I sound British like Victoria Stillwell of dog training fame.

BEFORE To help those people who have never heard my “regular talking voice” here is a clip of me conducting an interview of an intercity ministry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JQjncoi9jc You will notice some hesitation in my speech as I am thinking of the questions off the cuff, but even a very untrained ear can tell I do not sound like the same person.

AFTER Now… compare this to my most recent little clip from last night
http://www.tokbox.com/vm/b6ae3opqguin

You hear a very noticeable difference don’t you??
Friends, students and family are helping me to laugh about it, because if I don’t stay light-hearted enough it will make me want to cry.

THIS IS NOT ME!!
My regular voice is gone! Instead I am having to hear these weird accents coming out of my mouth. STILL, I am extremely thankful to have any voice at all. Can you imagine it?

I praise God that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am being forced to
(1) speak funny OR (2) shut-up. Those of you who know my passion for communication (talking with people and about the Gospel) know which option of those two that I am taking.

Here are some things running through my head a lot lately:
“Be still — and KNOW — that I AM GOD!” –
We are fearfully and wonderfully made; tho’ this is scarey it IS facinating!
I must laugh because if I take it too seriously I will cry.
How much faith do I really have?
I choose to believe that God IS in control of even this.

What do you think about this? I REALLY want to know.
I am seeking any advice, ideas or answers anyone might have.

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STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE

ellen5e — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:52:00 +0000

I am now back from the hospital and am continuing to have speech problems.

Rather than write everything down… I went to Tokbox and created 4 little video mails that explains everything up to now.

I hope you will watch these so you can view how difficult it is to speak, how very different I sound right now, and because I think God is using this trial to teach many people how God uses the weak and unusual things of this world, if we let Him.

Just click on the links to view the videos:

What Is Going On? Part 1

What Is Going On? Part 2

What Is Going On? Part 3

What Is Going On? Part 4

Now that you have seen these clips you can rejoice with me someday, when God reveals how he using this trial for His glory.

LEARNING A LOT DURING THIS TIME:

1) God IS in control, therefore this is happening for a reason, AND not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others, and ultimately His glory.

2) This speech problem may be God’s 2×4 across my head – way of getting my attention about being extra careful when choosing words and speaking.

3) A test for vanity: if I am so concerned about how I am sounding when I speak that I get so hung up on how I sound to the other person, then I would not speak at all for prideful fear of looking ridiculous. I am learning it is more important to show that I believe my message is more important to deliver DESPITE the way it makes me look. In this way I can communicate “I love you so very much that I will say it even if it makes me LOOK ridiculous”!

4) Interesting FACT: our dog Spirit obeys my verbal commands even better since I am having this speech problem. I am thinking that maybe it is like everything else; it is the “unusual” that gets our attention. Everyone else’s voices sound similar. But mine is now so unusual that she can easily separate it out of the crowd of other noises in the environment … it is much easier to filter out the racket and see what is really important. Hmmm. I think there is a good analogy there!

5) Patience — I don’t know about you, but I want problems fixed and NOW!! So I have been increasingly hard on myself when it comes to this mess. I am looking at it as: “what did I do wrong?”; “when will this be over?”; ”how can I make it better and faster”. What can I DO??

Lesson I am learning: God is STILL in control (always has been) and if I would quit fighting Him I will be able to rest in the peace that comes with that understanding. It is NOT about what I can or cannot do — (all about ME syndrome) — rather it is again that God is showing me to “be still and know that HE is God”.

6) Faith — so this is another time of growing my faith. I do not like it; it is uncomfortable and an inconvenience not only to me but also to my loved ones.

CONSIDERING THE BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM COCOON

Did you know that if you were to cut open a cocoon to help the struggling butterfly get out of it’s cocoon, you would actually be doing it harm?? You see that relatively ugly, slimy, can only crawl so far in two whole days little caterpillar gets to go into one of the greatest transformations that I can think of in nature. God transforms this worm into a beautiful flying testimony in the course of a few days. But it is in the struggling that the new butterfly does while in the midst of the cocoon that he builds up his wing strength.

It is during the struggling that the strength is developed! Did you get that!? If you were to feel sorry for this new butterfly and cut open it’s cocoon to ease it’s struggle, or allow it out sooner, even if the butterfly’s wings had fully developed, they would not be strong enough for him to fly upon!! You would only have a more beautiful worm, that LOOKS like a butterfly, but crawls around like a caterpillar. He would be freed from his temporary struggling only to be limited by his unreached potential. How very sad!

Therefore, I am looking at my current neurological and speech trial as just a temporary time of strengthening for me as well. God wishes to transform me into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Although, I do want to get better as soon as possible. I do NOT want let out of the cocoon one second too early. I don’t only want to look like Him, but also be able to have the required strength to act like Him.

If you were blessed by this posting I would love for you to leave a comment. Thanks and may God bless you!

On My Knees

ellen5e — Fri, 08 May 2009 04:41:00 +0000

My friends and followers may have noticed that I’ve not been as
social online over the last week. Why? Lots of reasons, but primarily, high demands of many different projects all coming due at the same time. There were the annual stage props for a production at Madame Walker theatre which my husband and I cranked out in record time. There were additional practices for our band as we performed a benefit fundraiser for some abused kids to be able to go to a Christian summer camp. Finally, there was all the paperwork and organization of a record number of members in our Warren Waggers 4-H Dog club of which I am leader.

All of these activities are a joy to me. However, they all came together at a time where they acted as a kind of “perfect storm” of stress at a time when my Chronic pain and Chronic Fatigue decided to ravage my poor body.

There were many days of zombie-like walking and “what was I just doing?” I’m still not at my normal level of functionality, however I am better than I have been in the last few weeks. So that is why I am up at 12:45 a.m. catching up on blogging and some other postings.

Today was a wonderful day! I have all those big projects behind me so I could insert my thankfulness to God into my prayers that lasted longer today. I spent a LOT more time ‘on my knees’ today since it was the National Day of Prayer. Though President O’bama did not call attention to it, as our previous U.S. President had, I did remember to make it a priority on my schedule of events for the day.

I am concerned for our nation; if we don’t remember to turn to God, how will we know in which direction we should go to receive His blessing? I prayed for our leaders, our communities and especially our families. Even tho’ this particular day of emphasis on prayer comes only once a year, I am thankful for the opportunity it has given me to renew my fervency for prayer.

Our Lord promised in His Word that if we will turn to Him, He will turn toward us and He will heal our land. Though it seems odd, I am thankful for the season of weakness that I’ve had to endure. It allows me to truly acknowledge that through my weakness I am made strong. Like the Apostle Paul, God has seen fit to not remove “the thorn in my flesh” (as Paul called it) even though I’ve prayed for it. Like Paul, I may have taken pride in what “I” accomplished in my own power. This way, I KNOW that ALL my power comes from Him, because I truly am a weak vessel that feels so very weak that I might implode or vaporize with a gentle wind.

So tonight, right before I go to bed, I will once again go down on my knees. After all, that is where I can acknowledge that I never did have the control that I wanted. Even more importantly, it is when I feel most out of control that I can rest assured that my awesome God always was, always will be, and IS in control. Now that’s peace!!

A Chance to Win a Pocket Video Camera

ellen5e — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:02:00 +0000

I was given a nice bit of information today. So in all fairness, I am turning around and sharing that free information with you. Here is a chance to win a great little piece of technology. Check it out at Creative. The actual contest can be seen at one of the blogs I follow called AsTheyGrowUp. These are good examples of how web2.0 can get news out about people and products. Good luck to us all!

Image of VadoTM Pocket Video Camera from Creative Website link.

ellen5e.com » Spirit

More Than Lip Service

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Take My Life

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It’s not working right!

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WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

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WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS

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STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE

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On My Knees

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