Meditation by Moonlight
Midnight snuck up on me again. I was doing work at the computer and time went faster than it was supposed to. So Spirit, our terrier, gives me the “are you finally ready for bed look” and heads for the back door for the final going outside ritual.
I went ahead and stepped out onto the back deck and was instantly taken by what a beautiful night it was. The temperature was refreshingly cool, but not cold. The humidity that was so oppressive just yesterday was now a nice moisturizing caress as the wind gently blew. The night was quiet with only rustling leaves and upper level wind sounds moving the clouds across the moonlit sky.
That’s when I saw it! The moon was gorgeous. The last time I was so mesmerized by the lunar light was during the solar eclipse earlier this year.
So I ran inside and grabbed my digital camera to see if I could capture what I was seeing. Mind you, mine is a point and shoot digital with very few of the higher tech lenses and settings that I enjoy on my 35mm, so I decided it would be fun to experiment.
I played around with settings; flash *ha* vs. no flash, zoom out vs. zoom in, holding at different angles, holding close to body and stiff vs. away from body and loose. I was having a lot of fun as I incorporated some treetops or branches and composed different shots.
Then I did something I haven’t done in years. I went out into the yard and just laid down in the grass and gazed skyward. I didn’t really care that the ground had dampness from all of yesterday’s rain or that dew was collecting on the blades on which I was about to repose. Though Spirit was quite confused as to why I was lying in the grass in the dark and taking photos, nevertheless, she came to join me and we made a memory that I just had to share.
Though my initial motivation was to lie down to stabilize myself for no flash nighttime photos [because I was determined NOT to go inside and dig out my tripod], I soon found myself once again under the spell of the ‘lesser light of the heavens’.
I was truly enjoying my time watching the high cloud shapes and colors dancing with the moon. I found myself watching the colors change as the bright orb temporarily ducked behind the passing clouds. I even found myself eagerly anticipating when the moon would emerge in the upcoming clearings.
It was as if the moon were saying to the clouds, “you may think you can keep me from shining my light, but your opposition to my mission is merely temporary. You will pass on by, while I will remain. Your desire to stop me from my purpose is but a mere hindrance. In your attempt to hide me, to shame me and belittle my light, you have actually brought about additional interest to the nighttime sky. So, like Joseph of the Old Testament, I say to you, ‘you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
The Bible says that even without another person’s testimony, creation itself will testify to the existence of our supreme creator. It was a blessing to have the moon reminding me that though the clouds seem dark and ominous at times, though they seem as if they will snuff out anything I try to do and attempt to make me disappear, yet will I continue to burn on. The light that God has given me is just as bright as it emerges from me whether I am behind a cloud of opposition or in a clear spot. The passing clouds of various earthly trials are fleeting events.
The very clouds of what appear to the world as threatening to my very existence have no effect on my ability to shine for God. If I continue to shine, the colors may change, and shadows dance across the landscape. However, if I keep my focus on reflecting the Son’s true light, those watching can join with me in anticipation of the hope that is ours and the celebration as we emerge victorious on the other side.
What’s more, though I did not change in the amount of light I was reflecting, it would appear to the observer that I am shining even more brightly as I come out of the shadow of the clouds than had I been simply alone in the sky and unhindered!
Yes. It definitely was a very interesting night.
I would value your response if you would kindly comment on this post.
Growing Pains
Today I was commenting on another Christian brother’s blog post in which he shared his frustration and discouragement of not knowing where he “fit in”. I decided my response would be worthy of posting on my own blog. So here you are –
Well my little Brother in Christ… you are Growing UP!!
All of us are born into this world with that big vacancy that only God can fill. We ALL try to fill it with substitutes from time to time… even AFTER we’re “saved”. That’s our sinful human nature. Pride wants us to take the credit for solving all the problems, wielding all the power, and controlling all that there is to control.
What you have been, and are now, experiencing is called growing pains. I am NOT attempting to minimize the pain and frustration that you’ve been enduring. Rather, I am just trying to congratulate you for your acknowledging it.
As good ol’ Dr. Phil says, “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” However, there is a more dependable source than even the smart doctor: the Holy Scriptures state that “fear is the beginning of understanding”.
Let’s face it, one of our greatest trials can be fear. Fears often cause us to get off-balance, and then before we regain our composure something ELSE comes along. We get HAMMERED by fear.
I believe that Satan feeds on our fears. That little Devil gains great joy when we beat ourselves up. “Why do I keep doing things wrong? Why doesn’t anybody want to BE with me? Why am I such a problem? What good am I doing? Maybe they’d be better off without me. Maybe I’ll just stay home. I wouldn’t have had any fun anyway. . .
Soon, we can find ourselves isolated, lonely, and depressed. That is far from God’s plan for us to be: connected and involved with people, and living lives full of blessings and victory over trials and problems. Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, gentleness and self-control… that’s what God wants for us. And He provides the means if we just look to Him as the source.
And then there’s the concern of those of us who are “people pleasers”. “What are THEY going to THINK?” “They’re going to be: mad at me, disappointed, hurt… They’ll think I’m ugly, nerdy, goofy, stupid, a fool, a burden…”
Do you see it? The way Satan gets us to focus on ME. If he can convince me to focus on myself and how terrible I am; then he will succeed in keeping me from doing the very thing I am here for. I am here to show God’s love to others and to allow God’s love to come to me through others. When the love of God is allowed to flow through and to me… then and only then do I get to feel the joy of purpose.
That is how I can be joyful even during times of trouble. Jesus promised a helper. He NEVER lies. The Holy Spirit ministers to me through other people. And I am allowed to minister to others in the same way. See 2 Cor.1:3-7 
“Perfect love casts out fear,” so to obtain “the peace that passes understanding” allow yourself to turn to the comfort found in His Holy Word. By examining the truths that God reveals; we are better equipped to recognize the lies that try to present themselves as truths.
I started out with this being an encouragement to a brother. But as much as I have seen Satan’s handiwork in action lately.. I think I’m going to actually blog this as well.
In the meantime, Brother, I hope that you will be strengthened as you focus on calling the “stinkin’ thinkin’
flat=out lies! God said that you are His adopted child and there is nothing that anyone can do to take you from His hand.
God’s Word is TRUTH and it says in Romans 8 — “(38) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, nor heavenly rulers, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
And WHEN (not IF) I get beaten up on the Battlefield of the Mind, I must quit going on the offense and take a defensive stance. All I have to do is get behind that Shield that God has given to me… the battle is the Lord’s and He is my Deliverer. So sometimes I just need to acknowledge that I NEED Him. Then I just need to fully rely on Him, having faith that He is control of it all. . . that His way is the Best way.
Psalm 119:114 –”You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your Word.”
In closing, I would just like to:
Exalt the Savior – He is in control
Equip the Saints – Study His words to fight lies with truth
Edify the Body – remember You are not alone
Examine myself – this advice for you is also reminder for me
Evangelize – let’s press on and share what we learn : )
With love, Ellen5e
Nothing Is Too Small
I have been going through a passage of maturity just lately. A very ominous, daunting, dark and narrow pass threatened me just this last weekend.
I have been taking part in an inter-city mission that I had been called two “accidentally” for over two years. “Ask Anything Saturdays” is conducted at the Unleavened Bread Cafe in the heart of Indianapolis. This mission-field is one in which some of us Christians implant ourselves into an otherwise unfamiliar culture to be used to show the love of Christ in practical ways.
The overall objective is to be available to introduce anyone who comes in off the street to the basics of using computers. So much of our society today involves the World Wide Web for developing job skills, applying for jobs, conducting research and getting to the information in a fraction of the time it used to take. Even more exciting, is the opportunity to make new friendships and network across many physical boundaries.
The internet has allowed us to cross racial, economical, cultural and educational boundaries. There are tutorials that help the newbies start out on this new adventure called the Internet. There are still some accessibility issues, especially for the aged and the economically strained. However, thanks to Public Libraries, schools, and now other social gathering computer cafe’s, this boundary too, is being torn down.
Since I consider myself a “Walmart Missionary” (my term for witness and connect WHEREVER you happen to be at the time, to whomever happens to be around, in whatever way the Lord leads) when I was first asked to make myself available for a few hours on Saturday mornings, I accepted the commission.
This is an commitment that I do not take lightly. I often have NO idea of who will be there or what possible way(s) I may help them.
This last Saturday, July 5th, there were BIG plans at the UBCafe. We had been urging some cafe regulars to come to a special Media Training event. I was encouraged by a co-servant to spearhead the workshop. It would take a bit of extra preparation on my part, but I was very happy to accept the challenge. We even invited others from outside the usual crowd to come join us.
Thursday night before the Saturday event, the Great Oppressor started to work on me. I had a terrible fever, too nauseous to eat, extremely weak and a headache that made looking at my computer monitor for prepwork extremely difficult. All day Friday the illness continued. Then the battlefield of the mind was being bombarded with “oh man, wonder if this fever doesn’t go away? Suppose I am not prepared enough?”
God, comforted me with a remembrance of the story of the little boy with the tidbits of fishes and loaves that fed thousands. “Just do what you can and I will take care of the rest. Don’t listen to the Supreme Liar who is trying to convince you that you can’t do it. Remember, in weakness, God’s strength is magnified.”
This is the same exact lesson that God has been showing me to encourage not only myself, but other Christian workers who are getting bombarded lately.
Saturday morning arrived. My body was still sick, but I was trusting that my fever was NOT contagious and prepared for the workshop. I had gathered all of my things and was heading out to our only car only to discover that we were totally out of gas!
So, my husband quickly took the van down the street to put in some gas, while I phoned to my friends to let them know that I would be tardy, but I AM coming. I felt so apologetic, knowing that they were waiting for me. Again the battlefield of the mind was aglow with new “worthlessness” bombs and a barrage of “you’re letting everyone down” grenades.
About that time, Steve returned to tell me that our debit card was declined and we have no credit card. OH NO!! It turned out we’d been double charged and it hadn’t been credited back because of the holiday weekend banking hours.
Earlier in the week we literally emptied our penny bank for gas so that I could make it to another Christian meeting I felt lead to attend. A Christian brother handed me a folded bill and simply said “here, go get some gas”. I was blessed to receive the bill. I would go straight to put $5 of gas into the car. When I went to pay, I discovered that the bill was really a $10. So I pocketed the remaining $5 and over the course of the next day bought a gallon of milk (on sale!) and still had $3 left.
That $3 put enough gas into the van for me to get into the workshop. I had earned a fifty dollar check dog sitting earlier, that Steve would go cash at customer’s bank which would close at noon.
Now, I was almost an hour late !!! The battlefield was having a turn in the fighting. I was more convinced than ever that Satan really did NOT want me to go this morning. And I KNOW from experience that when things get this bad, there is going to be a tremendous Godthing happen! I even verbalized that fact to my husband who was driving me in. And then again, I spoke out loud as I rushed right in to the community room. “Hold on and pay attention, God is gonna do something!”
I went from dread to anticipation. Leaning not on my own understanding. Not getting hung up with the “oh, there are not as many people here as I thought there’d be, maybe they left because I was so late.” I was excited to see what was going to happen. Confident in the fact that whoever was here, whatever we shared, whatever we did… all of it was in God’s hands, for His glory and for the blessing of us all.
We DID have a very productive workshop. It was difficult to balance the information between the totally inexperienced and the already understanding individuals so as not to cause sensory overload on the novices nor bore the experienced. God IS good.
Again, I was comforted as I AGAIN encouraged us all with the sufficiency of our Great God. That whatever little thing we have to bring God WILL use. We do NOT have to do it all. And what we may think is NOT enough, with God’s power becomes MORE than enough.
As I was outside teaching basic video filming with some of the trainees, two of my brothers in Christ were talking about me. When I came back, I was offered a JOB! Those who know me and my physical limitations and lack of income, know what a tremendous blessing this was. My new employer has offered to pay me for doing communications work for the Ministry that he spearheads. Communications is my passion and now I’m actually going to get a little money for that. He was reminding me that he couldn’t pay me much (apologizing about not being able to pay MUCH), but that it should help offset gas money. “It’s not very much”??? What is the lesson we are learning boys and girls?
God is sufficient… just do what I can…. He’ll handle the rest.
It’s called walking by faith, NOT by sight.
Then, another miracle happened. My husband called my cell phone. Was I ready to be picked up? Oh yes, it was now after 2pm and I hadn’t eaten yet, could he please bring me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with him?
To which he replied, “it just so happens that we got $100 refund in the mail just now”. That was enough to buy some much needed groceries! Immediately after ending the call, I began to tear up. “God, you’ve done it AGAIN!”
I was so filled with praise for what He had done for us, that I gathered about 6 brothers and sisters who were about to leave the Cafe and said… “please just give me 5 seconds to tell you something and pray with me.”
We gathered in a circle holding hands and I reported all that God had been doing just that very day. Then I offered up praise that just spewed out of me, with my dear friends joining in the Thanksgiving to our Saviour. Tears of joy and undeserved blessing streamed down my face. I thanked my friends and thought they’d leave. But once again God was not DONE blessing yet. A brother who I do not really know well at all, asked to pray. He affirmed that something that I had said testified to something he was learning through God!! Blessing upon Blessings… now this was a worship service. 7 people and gathered angels praising our Awesome God!
So, though this blog post is one of my longest yet. I think of it as a pile of stones of remembrance; set to remind us of how God cares for even the little things, even me.
It is fitting that this Independence Day weekend was one in which I was set free in a new way. That by simply pressing on against the seemingly narrow passage; I not only was escorted through the narrow chasm, but my SAVIOR used the Holy Scripture to BLAST a passageway, the Holy Spirit to energize me forward and the Awesome Grace of God to show me that on the other side of the passageway was beautiful meadow full of all the blessings that are yet to come!!
Thanks for taking this trip with me : )
Because I believe like it says in the book of Corinthians that when we share such things together, our sorrows are halved and our joys doubled!!
PS I’ve also embedded a great song on this page called “Just How Big Small Can Be” by 1000 Generations. This is my theme song for this portion of the journey of my life.
Make the Moments Count
I just have to blog about a tragic accident suffered by the family of well-known Christian Music artist Steven Curtis Chapman I just heard about. His youngest of six chilren, 5-year-old Maria was accidentally struck and killed in the families driveway by one of the older teenage brothers! I not only pray for the entire family, but a special prayer for the young man who was driving the vehicle. Lord, please don’t allow Satan to use guilt and blame on him. For God, we KNOW that you have control over ALL things. Little Maria was on this earth for a short time, but had a profound impact while here. She was instrumental in her father’s writing a powerful song “Cinderella” which reminds all of us to not rush through the raising up of our children. She has undoubtedly given the Chapman’s many hours of laughter and memories.
Please join me in upholding the family during this time of profound loss. May God’s comfort shine through them, may the general public give them space to grieve and just support one another. Above all may God be glorified and His purposes be accomplished in a way that even the atheist cannot ignore.
Here is a link to the video “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman, written only about w years ago… be sure to listen to the story at the end about the story behind the song.
Transformation of Information
This morning after doing my Bible Studies and listening to Christian radio while partaking in a nice contemplative soak in a hot bath, I had a thought. Surprise.
Do I do a good job of using information that I am bombarded with everyday, or is it just so much clutter? Am I contributing to my own confusion, effectively spinning my tires, gunning the accelerator while the engine is in neutral, rather than applying what I learn? If so, my personal lack of discipline can work toward Satan’s goal of keeping me from being effective for Christ.
It occurred to me that I MUST apply the information I receive or there is no chance at making any change. It is tragic to waste time and energy, because it is valuable in relation to reaching others with the love of God and bringing glory to Him which is my whole purpose!
So, being visually-minded as I am, I devised a VISUAL ANALOGY sticker to remind me of applying what is valuable and discarding the rest.
Growing and Helping Grow
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed the garden. I like the idea of helping to make the magic of a garden happen. My brother and I would have some really awesome dirt clod fights as we prepared the seed beds. We did have to put a size limit on what an acceptable dirt clod looked like, or else welts would appear after being pummeled by a hunk of Indiana clay that acted more like granite than dirt. OUCH!
Oh, and the fun times I had as a teenager, driving the tractor as my dad screamed “quit driving so crooked… straighten it up… what are you doing?” Have YOU ever tried to steer a hopping tractor in a straight line when it’s bouncing across ruts and valleys?? Well, it’s not easy. The stripping of the gears and popping of the clutch, the smell of the diesel spewing out of the exhaust that mixed with the smell of the nearby hay, these are but a few of my farmin’ memories.
But after we got through the hard part of removing any boulders or rocks or stumps, turning over the soil, plowing and then discing so that the soil became workable, then we would use the harrow and even out the topsoil. We three older kids got to ride on the top of the harrow on a platform to help weigh it down as Dad pulled it along. It no longer looked like the same landscape. The soil was prepared. It looked receptive. Ready to bear whatever we planted.
That’s when the real fun began. We’d take out the kid’s wagon full of supplies. Seed packets and a few seedlings we’d started inside to be transplanted in our new garden. Dad would lay out some twine between a couple of twigs and hoe a beautiful little furrow. He always knew just how far apart in childrens hand-breadths and how deep in kids finger depth to place the seeds. So we kids were entrusted with the responsibility of following those directions exactly for the crop he had us working on, while he went on to hoe another row. Seed down in the furrow, next seed, cover with dirt, press down firmly and a cup of water to drink… and so the pattern continued for most of the day.
Yes, my father did a wonderful thing in that family garden. He taught his children to appreciate good, hard work. The joy that comes from being a caretaker and a partaker of the fruits of personal labor and God’s gracious miracle of provision.
The Good Book talks about how a seed must die, before it can live. But once it dies in the ground, it sends out a brand new sprout which seeks out the light and pushes it’s way up through the soil. Then it stretches toward the sun and sends out branches and leaves, pods and beans, fruits, etc. All of these in turn, produce even more seeds!! Not to mention some delicious eating for some growing children.
I used to hate it, when Dad would make us go and pull weeds. Especially cutting down thistles that were as tall as I was. But I learned the importance of keeping the weeds down so that the soil’s nutrients would not be robbed from the crop that we desired.
To this day, I so enjoy the feel of the dirt when it is just right. The soil is warm and moist to where I can pull even the deepest dandelion before it sends up colonies of weeds. I love the feel of the dirt on my hands (I only use gloves for the hardcore stuff). Even dirt under my fingernails is not as annoying as it once was. I can smell the minerals in the soil, especially after a nice springtime shower.
As I relive all these pleasant memories, I can’t help but recall all of the similes that are found in a garden. God chose to start His creation of man in a garden. Provision and beauty abounded. There was purpose and fellowship, joy and love in that garden. Yes, the garden is a wonderful illustration of the Marvelous Master Gardener and His loving, nurturing care for me and those I love.
No wonder I love to garden so.