Growing Chocolates

Chocolate-farmingHmmm… I just got a great inspiration from friends Jamie and Terri talking on the radio. They were listing their top five things that they think they spend too much money on. Chocolate!! Why do chocolates cost so much? Because we can’t grow our own.

That got my imagination moving into overdrive. Wonder if we could grow our own chocolates? Wouldn’t that be great? Come on ladies, are you with me here? Imagine with me just for fun.

You’d take your seeds of Nestle (TM) Toll House Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips and place them in a shallow furrow of prepared earth. Of course once you’d placed the seeds in the ground you would carefully mark the row with a dusting line of white powdered sugar so that you could consistently “water” for best production. And we would fertilize with Hershey’s (TM) Cocoa Powder every two weeks for increased flavor.

Naturally, we would not use real H2O. Oh no! We would be “watering” with Hersheys (TM) Dark Chocolate Syrup. We must water at least twice a day until the seedlings start to sprout to a height of two inches when we would thin the row to ensure larger healthier plants. Just go ahead and eat those little seedlings, they are delicious and full of fiber and NO calories. I only grow the best, guilt free variety, you know.

Is your mouth watering yet?  As maturation takes place it is important to watch for unwanted weeds like those pesky rice crunchies and invasive almonds. Oh no you don’t!! This is a pure, rich, melt in your mouth, smooth crop of chocolate we are working on here. Pull those invasives from the roots and chuck them outta there!

Now, remember, our chocolate plants are a “cool weather” crop. Trying to grow them in the months of July and August can easily result in a sticky, melty mess. Fortunately, the chocolate plants are unattractive to the Japanese beetles and slugs that take out so much of the rest of the garden. So, I say, let’s forget about the lettuce and the brocolli and grow ONLY chocolate with a few tomatoes, sweet corn and melons filling in during the hot months.

The nice thing about growing my imaginary chocolate plants is the idea of strolling out into my garden and eating fresh from the garden!! YOU know what I mean. When the true farmer strolls out into the garden to bring in a harvest, one of the perks of the job is eating some of the crop before it even hits the harvesting basket! Oooooh, la la!

Now, dear friends, you know that God chose to start man’s life in a garden. You tell me… what more heavenly garden can there be than a garden full of chocolate? Thanks for coming on this little diversion in divinity with me, it’s always good to share. Anybody else having a chocolate craving?

2 Replies to “Growing Chocolates”

  1. hi, just wanted to say i have enjoyed reading through your posts. i never write to people but thought it was sooo much of a coincidence finding your site. last night while researching i happened upon utube fas friends and i nearly laughed my head off. i watched the post 3 times, i have not laughed this much in a looong time!!! march 2009 i had fas for 6 weeks – wierdest thing i have experienced in my life, i am irish, have a belfast accent, however for those 6 weeks EVERYONE thought i was italian, my foriegn accent was really strong. every morning i would wake up talking to myself to see if my real voice had returned – my “italian” voice was deeper than my normal voice. seeing the utube post i would have loved to join in !!!! i also had a bike accident 20 yrs ago, conpressed vertibre, had constant pain, also allergic to painkillers…. {had a long period of chiropratic work 2008 which has relived most of pain – a little miricle – so thankful} viral illness 5yrs ago, lots of symptoms since then, memory, spelling, maths, fatigue – some improvements lately. i am 54 yrs young, enjoy painting, photography,reading and gardening. well, i want to thank you for the good laugh, listening to you both speaking made me feel less isolated, even though the “italian” voice has gone away people still tend to look at me differently now. i am still very interested in finding out what/why this strange thing happened, i am beginning to think it is not as rare as the researchers say. marie

  2. whoops!!!! did not mean to have my wee note printed on site…. did not realise that would happen.. just wanted to let you know there are more of us and to let you know your own voice might come back.

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