ellen5e.com » humor http://ellen5e.com Blogging about my 5 E's Wed, 04 Jan 2012 06:40:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Frisbee Squirrel Days http://ellen5e.com/p/frisbee-squirrel-days/ http://ellen5e.com/p/frisbee-squirrel-days/#comments Fri, 28 Oct 2011 02:18:43 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/?p=1278 Okay, so you may be asking yourself, “what is a frisbee squirrel anyway?” Let me explain. You know when those furry little varmits get particularly active and don’t watch out when they cross the street. They can meet up with an automobile who cuts short their nut-gathering life right there in the middle of the road.

Should this happen in an area that is not frequented by road-kill restraunteers (like Kentucky or Arkansas) or buzzards, a few more car tire passes placed across the remains and a couple of days of drying and stiffening; then; wallah… you have yourself a frisbee squirrel.

Now that you have the proper definition, you can better appreciate why I chose to use the “frisbee squirrel” as an accurate descriptor for my body on some days. On really, excessively weak days I even say “transparent” frisbee squirrel day implying run over even more!

If this were a Bugs Bunny cartoon, maybe someone could just pick me up, shake me a little from side to side, and then blow me back up (like a balloon) into shape!

As it is, I have discovered that severe Chronic Fatigue makes my Foreign Accent Syndrome much worse (so no talking), I am too weak to do anything (so bedrest) and confusion makes reading and writing difficult. That is why you may not hear or see me much, but will see … It’s a Frisbee squirrel day @@=~

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/frisbee-squirrel-days/feed/ 0 Halloween Best http://ellen5e.com/p/halloween-best/ http://ellen5e.com/p/halloween-best/#comments Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:20:33 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/?p=509 DrKarl+BrideSmaller What was YOUR best Halloween costume?

I have always enjoyed creative things and that combined with the idea of doing that and going around and collecting candy or monetary awards, well, that was just icing on the cake.

One of my best costumes was my unique spin on BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN. You see, as a result of getting hit by a car in 1987 (see link for more info_  ) I had over thirty surgeries to my left foot, ankle leg, knee.  A couple of these surgeries resulted in the application of an external fixator. Many people call it a “halo” —I’ll take a halo any way I can get it apparently. LOL.

I joked around and called it a rotisserie because it had many wires running through my leg, between muscles and bones…like a chicken. It’s purpose was to hold the surgically placed pieces in place while I healed. Since I found myself in this contraption during Halloween, I decided to find a way to creatively use it. I would be the most realistic Bride of Frankenstein that many had ever seen!

Here is a photo of me posing with my surgeon Dr. Karl Raynor as the Bride of Frankenstein! I had a real electrodes strapped to me and working with my TENS unit (used to help with pain) with it’s flashing lights on my belt (not seen in the photo).

You should have seen all the people at the Walmart and on the street trying to figure out how I got those wires to look like they were passing right through my leg.  When someone was brave enough to ask, I told them that it looked real because it WAS real. Then I had to laugh as some of those same people looked like they were gonna faint.

I did get runner up at one party (held at a downtown brewery). The first place winner was an adult male wearing a diaper and a bib with a fake appendage sticking out through one of the leg holes. Give me a break!! I said “BREAK” not as in relief NOT as in another broken bone. . . thank you very much.

Please comment and let me know: What was YOUR best Halloween costume?

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