ellen5e.com » Jesus

The Reason for the Silence

ellen5e — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 01:31:18 +0000

You may have noticed that I haven’t been blogging regularly since the middle of December. That is because I made a conscious decision to step back from many ventures during the Christmas season to focus on the most important areas of my life. I focused more on family and the celebration of what the birth of Jesus Christ means to me.

Also, in December I had been increasingly afflicted with the extremely low energy associated with Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome. As the daylight hours reduce at this time of year, the ability of my body to function decreases as well. Even the simplest of tasks takes exponentially more energy to accomplish. So I ended the year refraining from blogging.

As I increasingly pared back on what activities I attempted, I found myself discovering what I valued most. My husband and I grew closer together in our prayer and Bible study times together, as well as those that we shared with our daughter. We communicated more with one another what we really value and the dreams that we have. As a family, we didn’t worry that we didn’t have a lot of money for gifts at Christmas, but dreamed of ways to do the most with what we had.

I became a baking fool. I literally spent 2 weeks in the kitchen baking various candies and a few other baked delights to hand out to some friends. Steve’s work alone had 18 little packages of goodies which yielded smiles and happiness at his workplace. I guess one of his coworkers in particular found that she is somewhat addicted to my Buckeyes (chocolate covered peanut butter nougat balls). I did somewhat perfect the peanut brittle this year too.

We mailed off Christmas packages to relatives via Priority mail to arrive before Christmas only to find that 2 of the 3 were addressed wrong and returned the second week of January!! Argh! However, we did spend a lovely Christmas Eve at Steve’s folks and had a wonderful lamb feast with family before returning home between bad ice storms.

As New Year’s Eve arrived, I was ready to put 2009 behind me and start a new decade.

The Christmas Gift

ellen5e — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:43:23 +0000

The manger stays empty until Christmas Eve.

As economic times are tough, I have had a real challenge of figuring out about what gifts I might be able to afford. There is just no way to be able to do the usual extended family Secret Santa gift exchange this year. The family vehicle needed repairs that cost more than our Christmas gift-giving budget would have been.

So, I have had a chance to think even harder about the really important aspects of Christmas being so much more than pretty presents under the tree.

I want to share with you a family tradition that we have had for several years. Front and center under our family Christmas tree is placed a small manger. We place raffia straw in it and it sits that way until Christmas Eve. The last thing that I do before going to bed on Christmas Eve is to take a baby doll and swaddle the doll in burlap and lay it in that manger. THAT is the greatest gift of all. That reminder greets our family when we desend upon the tree Christmas morning.

Emmanuel, God with us…. what a wonderful gift! To know that God gave His only son so that we may be called His children forever, if only we accept Him as our Savior. We were in such great need when we were dead in our sins. And now, as we celebrate with the lights of the season, the Light of the World has come. We have received the greatest gift of all!

There is no greater gift that I could wish for you my friend than that of Jesus Christ the Savior. Do you have Him? If not, He is waiting to be invited to be your Savior and Lord. Once you have received that gift, what more could you possibly desire?

When it comes to the very real human feelings of sadness that I cannot just go out and buy some things that I know would make my friends and family happy to unwrap on Christmas morning; I just acknowledge that I am sad. But, then I think back to that wonderful traditional claymation video that used to be shown every Christmas season on television called “The Little Drummer Boy”.

The little drummer boy was extremely poor and had absolutely no gift to give to the baby Jesus. However, he was able to play his drum for Him…. par rup up pum pum…rup up pum pum…rup up pum pum. And then, the baby Jesus smiled at him. How cool is that? Just a fictional story, perhaps, yet it is true that Jesus doesn’t require anything from us other than our desire to have a relationship with Him. Everything else that we do from that point on will bring honor to Him as we get to know Him more and obey what He teaches.

Merry Christmas!

Procrastination: What’s ‘pro’ about it?

ellen5e — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:51:36 +0000

I am developing a plan to get a task done. Or is it that I am beginning to start to plan? The prefix ‘pro’ usually means moving forward, bettering, such as in the word progress. Procrastination: what’s ‘pro’ about it?

Here is a video that someone sent me a link to. This was the inspiration for finally writing this blog. Something that I had been meaning to write for some time. LOL

WHY do I procrastinate. Why wait to do what I know NEEDS to be done? I believe there are a few things worth considering here. Perhaps the greatest deterrent to getting something done is FEAR. Fear of failure, or that I will mess things up. Maybe my bent toward perfectionism is screaming at me to “Wait! You SHOULD do it this way. This other way may be better.” It’s the dreaded “Shoulda, woulda, coulda”s of an overly creative mind that can bog me down. And, just maybe, it is that FEAR that overrides our desire to just get on with the task at hand.

Don’t get me wrong. I do believe that one shouldn’t just barge forth without any direction or preparedness. But I see that there is this (sometimes hard to define) borderline between appropriately pausing and taking careful steps to proceed versus stopped and not willing or apparently unable to proceed. A procrastination paralysis produces a productivity nightmare!

The solution? Ha! If I knew that I could be a millionaire as a result of all the motivational speaking engagements that I could do at the conventions full of the myriads of people who are searching for a way out. I would right a book and go on book signing tours. Well, maybe someday.

Seriously, as I think about it now, I believe one of the biggest solutions to my bouts of procrastination is to face the fact that I am doing it. Call it what it really is. Procrastination in my case is a sin.

Does that seem harsh to you? Well, remember, this is in dealing with my own procrastination. I am going to treat it as a sin because sin is defined as being “off the mark”. I believe that God does call me to be holy as He is holy; to strive to live a righteous and productive life. I also believe that the ONLY way for me to do that is by utilizing the grace of God given to me as a free gift when I became His child. At the moment of my salvation, I was saved. That is past tense. It’s a done deal.

Now, as I “seek first the Kingdom of God,” I am challenged to grow up into a better way of doing things. I daily “walk by faith” when I study the Bible and use God’s Word to transform my old ways of thinking and doing things into a better way. So, you see, if I am applying what I am learning, I am always growing. There is no room for procrastination there.

As I face this personal sin of procrastination I need to remember to say “STOP! This is wrong.” I must admit that I am choosing to allow my fear of the unknown future to allow me to enter into an old, prideful way of thinking that based my success on what I did and how well I performed.

So, for me, stopping procrastination is getting back on track. Stop what I am doing wrong, learn the correction, and do that. I actively choose to say, “Lord help me: remind me to place your love before my fears.” I need to remember that perfect love casts out fear and practice that. It does take practice. That perfect love is available to me (and to you too) in the redeeming work of Jesus Christ who provides a way . . . the ONLY way out of the fear and into the love.

1 John 4:18 (NASB)
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

At this moment, I can say I am not procrastinating. How about you?

Imperfect Perfection

ellen5e — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:18:21 +0000

You know what? I am NOT perfect. Surprise! Yet, one of my personal struggles is with the character defect of perfectionism. I could even go so far to say that it is a sin, but I don’t know that I chose so much to act this way as it is a natural bent that has plagued my Type A, constantly pushing for the best, way of doing things.

Either way I see it as both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand I can say that this perfectionism has given me the “eye” for detail. I can generally tell with a quick glance if something is amiss, awry or off-kilter. This especially comes in handy when I am rendering a drawing or painting that is realistic. It also gives those I work for the assurance that I am going to give great attention to the accuracy and detail of a job. I am by nature highly motivated, driven to do the best I can, and determined to see a task through to the end.

So what’s the downside? I am the most critical of my own work. It was so bad when I was younger that I couldn’t keep any of my own paintings because I would look at it and see something that was a bit off or could have been done better. As a runner, I would always strive to go further, go faster. As a daughter, wife or friend I would do everything to be the “best”. Oh, I was what some would call an overachiever, a competitor that didn’t know when to quit. Why? Because, I felt that my best was NEVER good enough.

It was in college, working for the Department of Graphic Communications Chair (he was also a perfectionist) that I learned a bit of a trick in fighting this troubling trait. He told me, “If the client likes it, it is good enough.” Never mind that you think it would be better this way, in these colors or whatever. If my job is to produce a piece that the client likes, then the moment he says “that’s good,” it IS good. Period.

Wow! What a revelation. Just by proclaiming something good, it IS good. There really is such a thing as “Good Enough”. What a concept.

As I am currently struggling with some physical challenges right now, I have been forced to look at the increased frustrations and disappointment associated with the realization that I simply cannot do what “normal” people can expect to do. Nor, even, what I could do myself in years previous. I am starting to have those thoughts of not measuring up. Maybe those who used to love me will tire of me and discard me as “a problem” or “broken” and unable to be “fixed”.

However, these are feelings that I cannot trust. These feelings would have me believe that I am what I do; that it is my performance that determines my worth. You know what I am learning? (Not that I have attained a full working degree of mastery here, yet). I am learning that these thoughts based on feeling are untrustworthy. Lies!

My value really is not based on what I can or cannot do. It is not based on quotas of projects completed, grades, money earned or invested. It is not based on if my hair is styled just so, or if I am wearing the latest clothing fashion. My value is not even determined on if my husband or child is pleased with my cooking or even if they are angry with me.

No. None of that is the real basis of my value. What I believe to be true as I study my Bible (if only my feelings would grasp that truth more) is that my value comes not from what I DO, or to what degree of perfection I perform, but from WHOSE I am.

I believe wholeheartedly in the Truth of God’s Word which declares I am a child of God. He loved me even when I was at my all time, absolute, disgustingly worst. When I came to acknowledge my absolute inability to even approach anywhere near a degree of perfection when it came to dealing with such an awesome and Holy God, I all but melted away.

It was then, at my most imperfect, that God lifted my face to look into His. He invited my broken spirit to be mended by His Holy Spirit. He let the love of Jesus Christ do the perfecting for me. WOW!!

Right now, as I struggle related to chronic pain, fatigue and even Foreign Accent Syndrome I must face the fact that these are major hurdles that are guaranteed to keep me from normal goals of excellence. In working with these difficulties I am finding that nasty old bent toward perfectionism rearing it’s ugly head again. This time, thanks to God’s promises which sustain me, I am learning to say, “Yes. I am a failure. Yes, I have messed up. Yes, I cannot do this under my own power.”

These very thoughts that in the past were used to try to depress me to the point of being totally ineffective are now the very same thoughts that I can accept and answer. “Though each one of those accusations is true. All those imperfections are present in me…but..’I AM doing my best. And (here is the real gem)… GOD LOVES ME ANYWAY!”

This really is too wonderful for me to understand. It is not by denying my failures, or pretending they do not exist, that I find peace. Rather, it is by embracing the fact that it is despite my imperfections that I can enjoy the bliss of perfect love and acceptance of my Blessed Savior. SELAH.

Do you know this peace too? It really is perfect.

Fire Burning Love

ellen5e — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:24:00 +0000

My friend Gabe voiced his concerns about some of the larger Christian organizations of the nation drawing large crowds with uber-celebrity type people. Also, the idea that maybe too much time was being spent on being a good “leader”. This made me think of a worldly, success-based motivation behind the meetings. So I understood Gabe’s frustration. To view Gabe’s original post, click here. The following is my response:

Hmmm… Gabe Dear… me thinks that you are noticing the trend of many “Christian” organizations, churches included (sadly) that are taking the eyes off of the flame of the candle in an effort to reinvent the candle stick. What ’style’ is the most attractive,” becomes more widely discussed than “do we need to trim the wick,” or “is the wind so turbulent as to endanger blowing out the flame?” Worse yet, in my opinion, is how we can get so caught up in the externals that we ‘douse the flame’ with an unloving or cynical attitude toward those that are different from ourselves.

Maybe we are not even striking the match, quenching the Spirit when we do not follow the Spirit’s leading to take the initiative and speak out or otherwise demonstrate God’s hand at work in the lives of others. It might be too uncomfortable or embarrassing for us to knock on a door or pose a question. What might they think of us? That sounds a bit like that old fire-extinguisher ‘Pride’ trying to get rid of the flame of Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
“BURN ON,” I say! And how can I keep that flame burning brightly if I don’t keep it stoked with the Word of God! God’s Word is my delight… like honey…”YOUR WORD is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path,” Ps. 119:105, If I am to let my “light so shine before men” from a hilltop and not under a basket, I believe that I must daily keep in close communion with God.

As I draw closer to Him, THEN I will naturally have a testimony flow from that. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, THEN all these things will be added. . .”. What makes me a better ‘leader’ is that I train myself to be a better “follower.” It goes against our sinful, selfish nature, but, Jesus Himself spoke of the need for us to serve others. At the time He was saying it, He was washing His disciples feet. So who am I following? God or man? Now, THAT is the question.

All the fire references that have popped up in this comment are as a result of my having just re-listened to “Burning Down the House” by Talking Heads. I associate my passion of following God and being filled with the Holy Spirit with the visual image and analogy of fire. And that song popped into my head.

So I went and looked at the lyrics. Some of the words in that song speak to personal agenda getting in the way. . . is my house in order… am I trying to do things my own way with the latest and greatest techniques.. getting all worked up into a frenzy and then burning my own house down in an inferno. Thanks, but no thanks.

Give me the comfort of knowing that God’s fire is at the center of my home, bringing warmth and comfort to my family and friends, as well as any strangers who chose to partake in hospitality. As long as the fire is contained properly in the firebox beneath the mantle… as long as I adhere to what I know to be the correct way to handle and care for the fire, I have nothing to fear. By simply doing what I have learned to be correct I am able to be protected from the winter chill, AND rejoice in sharing that warmth with others. Link to Burning Down the House Lyrics by Talking Heads
Link to Burning Down the House Song

Yes, it is cold outside. But, we have been given a wonderful fire in our home. Would you like to come in and join us?

The Lame Lamb

ellen5e — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:26:00 +0000

I would like to tell you of a shepherding practice that is used when a lamb continues to wander away from the flock. In order for the lamb that keeps wandering away to learn to stay with the flock, the shepherd uses his staff and actually breaks one of legs of the lamb. Then he splints the leg and carries the little one over his shoulders for a good bit of the healing time required.

The lamb is carried this way as they go about the daily life of whatever sheep and their shepherd do. All the while a special bond is being made.

When the day comes that the shepherd removes the splint from the leg of the lamb, the purpose of what may seem to be an abusive act comes into focus.

That little lamb will NEVER wander away from his shepherd again! In fact he now gleefully leaps about in the area near the shepherd. The very hand that had caused his pain, comforted him through it, lovingly cared for him, and gave him a real appreciation for all that the shepherd provides.

So now, when you read in the book of Isaiah ” All we like sheep go astray, each to his own way”, and the LORD is the keeper of them all, I hope that you will remember this illustration.

There is a reason for our pain. If we won’t stop wandering away, the shepherd will pursue our closeness in some other way. That’s just how much He longs to be close to us. Isn’t that neat?

ellen5e.com » Jesus

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