ellen5e.com » talk http://ellen5e.com Blogging about my 5 E's Wed, 04 Jan 2012 06:40:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 How Do You Say It? http://ellen5e.com/p/how-do-you-say-it/ http://ellen5e.com/p/how-do-you-say-it/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:09:45 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/?p=347 languagesThe weekend was full of activities, and a lot of it was spent with family and friends of family that I had not seen in years. All these relatives and friends were at two different big celebrations held over in both Michigan and Northern Indiana.

All but one set of relatives have never heard me speaking with the foreign accent that had suddenly came upon me on May 12th.
So imagine for a moment if you were me; how would you handle the attempted explanation of the inevitable questions “what happened to your voice?” “Why are you talking that way,” and from the less familiar relatives and friends “where are you from?”

There is no easy way to explain it. There is a rare disorder called Foreign Accent Syndrome and it causes me to speak with a foreign accent. I did manage to tell groups at a time while we sat together after eating. Although that helped cut down on the number of repeated explanations, I still became very tired of explaining something that is so hard to explain.

It all boils down to the fact that we don’t know exactly why it happened, or if I will get my regular voice back. However, in the meantime we are pressing on with investigations and tests to try to gain a better scientific understanding of how the brain works in relation to speech.

Still, it is fascinating and the listeners dropped their jaws when I sang a little bit for them in my regular voice. Then we had a good conversation about our bodies being fearfully and wonderfully made. What about attitude? We talked about how we don’t gain anything by worrying or fretting about something that we do not have any control over. Then I was able to talk about my faith in knowing that God remains in control of it all. That is how I truthfully am able to do as well emotionally as I have been.

I explained that I can have “joy” even in the midst of a trial. While I may not be “happy” about it, I can have times of laughter with others as we note the funny pronunciations of American English. Some mispronunciations make a normal saying sound even more funny. We can laugh together! I have been told by many people that it is the laughter that allows them to ask me more questions without feeling uncomfortable about it.

That brings me back to the conversation with them about what to say when I am asked so many times a day, “Where are you from?” I always answer, “where do you think? I seriously would like to know, because we are taking a poll.” Most people then apologize and express they are afraid to guess wrong. I tell them they cannot guess wrong, and that I will explain it after they guess. Then the people are more at ease and will play the game.

Here is how the poll is going this week:
1) English/Australian
2) Swedish
3) French
4) Some form of Slovick
5) And this week I have been getting repeated “South African” and even a specific “Rhodesia” and 6) one Portuguese.

Although there hasn’t been a clear winner as to which accent I am speaking, it is clear that it is a foreign one. The easiest way to describe it is the sound of a foreign born European coming to the United States and trying to speak English.

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/how-do-you-say-it/feed/ 1 Weekly Check-In At WIBC 93.1 FM http://ellen5e.com/p/weekly-check-in-at-wibc-931-fm/ http://ellen5e.com/p/weekly-check-in-at-wibc-931-fm/#comments Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:01:47 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/?p=189 Tuesday mornings at 7:45 a.m. has become a time to report in to the local Indianapolis radio station on what is happening with me and the Foreign Accent Syndrome. This is a time when I pray that God will use me to reach out to the community with what I am learning through this trial. It is a time to reflect and communicate on how people talk to one another. Since communication is one of my greatest passions, I see this as an opportunity and am thankful for the chance to bring some insight as I am going through it.

I do get a lot of compliments on my good attitude as I go through the frustration and predictable concerns of any person going through an unpredictable dilemma. Again, opportunity through the trial, as I am allowed to come back to the fact that even though I do know what is happening . . . God does!!! And there is the source of my peace. Not once is God surprised by what is happening.

Here are the two audiio files for you that can listen to them… the first one in particular is quite small as it is just a teaser.

09-0609a-wibc-no03a

Then Terri and Jaimie do the actual segment with me at the link below.

09-0609b-wibc-no03b

The general contents of this weeks report were about

What accent would you like to speak with if you could choose? How long has it been and what have they done for you? How do you react when people keep asking where you are from? What about speech therapy? It is very rare and research and hard to learn about. Will your original voice come back? How people can think or do to people with FAS that are so cruel. Are there any good things as a result of talking with an accent? Do people treat you differently? Mentioning of teaching 4-H dog club. Terri announced my website (this one) Ellen5e.com so that people can keep up and comment themselves.

Just before signing off of this broadcast the producer Dan recorded me saying the following sentence: “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.”  They are going to compare me saying this sentence from week to week to see if the accent starts to change back.

They ended the broadcast by playing the Swedish national anthem saying that they may use that in future when I am coming on. However, I do not think that is such a good idea. I do NOT want true Swedes to be offended and as I said in today’s broadcast… though much of my word pronunciations take on a Swedish strong “oo”s and “u”s; it is NOT a true Swedish dialect.  So I will be thinking of a different theme song for the segment… do YOU have any good ideas?

As always I appreciate your reading this and sharing any information that YOU may have about this incredibly rare and troubling medical condition called Foreign Accent Syndrome.

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/weekly-check-in-at-wibc-931-fm/feed/ 0 WHAT IT WAS VS. WHAT IT IS http://ellen5e.com/p/what-it-was-vs-what-it-is/ http://ellen5e.com/p/what-it-was-vs-what-it-is/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 16:48:00 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/p/what-it-was-vs-what-it-is/
I have had quite a few brand new friends who I have met via newmedia and on the internet who have never heard me talk before the “ATTACK” so when they hear me speaking on the recent video clips they do not think anything about my heavy weird accent.

ASIDE: By the way the votes for “What kind of accent do you think it is?” is leaning very heavily toward French and Swedish/Norwegian. One good friend has accused me of being a Russian spy. And one of my 4H dog club kids thinks I sound British like Victoria Stillwell of dog training fame.

BEFORE: To help those people who have never heard my “regular talking voice” here is a clip of me conducting an interview of an intercity ministry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JQjncoi9jc You will notice some hesitation in my speech as I am thinking of the questions off the cuff, but even a very untrained ear can tell I do not sound like the same person.

AFTER: Now… compare this to my most recent little clip from last night
http://www.tokbox.com/vm/b6ae3opqguin
You hear a very noticeable difference don’t you??
Friends, students and family are helping me to laugh about it, because if I don’t stay light-hearted enough it will make me want to cry.

THIS IS NOT ME!!
My regular voice is gone! Instead I am having to hear these weird accents coming out of my mouth. STILL, I am extremely thankful to have any voice at all. Can you imagine it?

I have had friends call me on the phone, and then just about hang up as they say “I’m sorry, I have gotten the wrong number.” I go into a quick “wait a minute! it is me, Ellen, don’t hang up!” Then I must give them some kind of fact that a stranger wouldn’t know, to convince them it is ME!! It IS me!!

It has now been a week and a half since the first numbness showed up, and almost as long that I have been speaking with a foreign accent. I sometimes get a bit down about the situation. No doctor has an answer about what is going on — we just don’t see any obvious signs of stroke or any bad tumor or anything on CT or MRI.

The speech therapist I saw on Wednesday was thinking maybe Bells Palsy, but some of the symptoms do not jive. I have just started finding something called “Foreign Accent Syndrome” mentioned on the web. So I will continue to research as I await my neurologist appt. on the 29th.

I praise God that He never gives us more than we can handle. I am being forced to
(1) speak funny OR (2) shut-up. Those of you who know my passion for communication (talking with people and about the Gospel) know which option of those two that I am taking.

Here are some things running through my head a lot lately:
“Be still — and KNOW — that I AM GOD!” –
We are fearfully and wonderfully made; tho’ this is scarey it IS facinating!
I must laugh because if I take it too seriously I will cry.
How much faith do I really have?
I choose to believe that God IS in control of even this.

What do you think about this? I REALLY want to know.
I am seeking any advice, ideas or answers anyone might have.

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/what-it-was-vs-what-it-is/feed/ 1 STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle/ http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 21:52:00 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle/ I am now back from the hospital and am continuing to have speech problems.

Rather than write everything down… I went to Tokbox and created 4 little video mails that explains everything up to now.

I hope you will watch these so you can view how difficult it is to speak, how very different I sound right now, and because I think God is using this trial to teach many people how God uses the weak and unusual things of this world, if we let Him.
Just click on the links to view the videos:
What Is Going On? Part 1
What Is Going On? Part 2
What Is Going On? Part 3
What Is Going On? Part 4
Now that you have seen these clips you can rejoice with me someday, when God reveals how he using this trial for His glory.

LEARNING A LOT DURING THIS TIME:

1)  God IS in control, therefore this is happening for a reason, AND not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others, and ultimately His glory.
2)  This speech problem may be God’s 2×4 across my head – way of getting my attention about being extra careful when choosing words and speaking.
3)  A test for vanity: if I am so concerned about how I am sounding when I speak that I get so hung up on how I sound to the other person, then I would not speak at all for prideful fear of looking ridiculous.  I am learning it is more important to show that I believe my message is more important to deliver DESPITE the way it makes me look.  In this way I can communicate “I love you so very much that I will say it even if it makes me LOOK ridiculous”!
4)  Interesting FACT:  our dog Spirit obeys my verbal commands even better since I am having this speech problem. I am thinking that maybe it is like everything else; it is the “unusual” that gets our attention. Everyone else’s voices sound similar. But mine is now so unusual that she can easily separate it out of the crowd of other noises in the environment … it is much easier to filter out the racket and see what is really important. Hmmm. I think there is a good analogy there!
5)  Patience — I don’t know about you, but I want problems fixed and NOW!!  So I have been increasingly hard on myself when it comes to this mess.  I am looking at it as: “what did I do wrong?”; “when will this be over?”;  ”how can I make it better and faster”. What can I DO??
Lesson I am learning: God is STILL in control (always has been) and if I would quit fighting Him I will be able to rest in the peace that comes with that understanding.  It is NOT about what I can or cannot do — (all about ME syndrome) — rather it is again that God is showing me to “be still and know that HE is God”.
6)  Faith — so this is another time of growing my faith.  I do not like it; it is uncomfortable and an inconvenience not only to me but also to my loved ones.
CONSIDERING THE BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM COCOON
Did you know that if you were to cut open a cocoon to help the struggling butterfly get out of it’s cocoon, you would actually be doing it harm??  You see that relatively ugly, slimy, can only crawl so far in two whole days little caterpillar gets to go into one of the greatest transformations that I can think of in nature.  God transforms this worm into a beautiful flying testimony in the course of a few days. But it is in the struggling that the new butterfly does while in the midst of the cocoon that he builds up his wing strength.
It is during the struggling that the strength is developed! Did you get that!?  If you were to feel sorry for this new butterfly and cut open it’s cocoon to ease it’s struggle, or allow it out sooner, even if the butterfly’s wings had fully developed, they would not be strong enough for him to fly upon!!  You would only have a more beautiful worm, that LOOKS like a butterfly, but crawls around like a caterpillar.  He would be freed from his temporary struggling only to be limited by his unreached potential. How very sad!
Therefore, I am looking at my current neurological and speech trial as just a temporary time of strengthening for me as well.  God wishes to transform me into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Although, I do want to get better as soon as possible. I do NOT want let out of the cocoon one second too early.  I don’t only want to look like Him, but also be able to have the required strength to act like Him.
If you were blessed by this posting I would love for you to leave a comment. Thanks and may God bless you!

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle/feed/ 0 STRENGTH FROM THE STRUGGLE http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle-2/ http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle-2/#comments Tue, 19 May 2009 20:52:00 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle-2/ I am now back from the hospital and am continuing to have speech problems.

Rather than write everything down… I went to Tokbox and created 4 little video mails that explains everything up to now.

I hope you will watch these so you can view how difficult it is to speak, how very different I sound right now, and because I think God is using this trial to teach many people how God uses the weak and unusual things of this world, if we let Him.
Just click on the red links to view the videos:
What Is Going On? Part 1
What Is Going On? Part 2
What Is Going On? Part 3
What Is Going On? Part 4
Now that you have seen these clips you can rejoice with me someday, when God reveals how he using this trial for His glory.

LEARNING A LOT DURING THIS TIME:

1)  God IS in control, therefore this is happening for a reason, AND not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others, and ultimately His glory.
2)  This speech problem may be God’s 2×4 across my head – way of getting my attention about being extra careful when choosing words and speaking.
3)  A test for vanity: if I am so concerned about how I am sounding when I speak that I get so hung up on how I sound to the other person, then I would not speak at all for prideful fear of looking ridiculous.  I am learning it is more important to show that I believe my message is more important to deliver DESPITE the way it makes me look.  In this way I can communicate “I love you so very much that I will say it even if it makes me LOOK ridiculous”!
4)  Interesting FACT:  our dog Spirit obeys my verbal commands even better since I am having this speech problem. I am thinking that maybe it is like everything else; it is the “unusual” that gets our attention. Everyone else’s voices sound similar. But mine is now so unusual that she can easily separate it out of the crowd of other noises in the environment … it is much easier to filter out the racket and see what is really important. Hmmm. I think there is a good analogy there!
5)  Patience — I don’t know about you, but I want problems fixed and NOW!!  So I have been increasingly hard on myself when it comes to this mess.  I am looking at it as: “what did I do wrong?”; “when will this be over?”;  ”how can I make it better and faster”. What can I DO??
Lesson I am learning: God is STILL in control (always has been) and if I would quit fighting Him I will be able to rest in the peace that comes with that understanding.  It is NOT about what I can or cannot do — (all about ME syndrome) — rather it is again that God is showing me to “be still and know that HE is God”.
6)  Faith — so this is another time of growing my faith.  I do not like it; it is uncomfortable and an inconvenience not only to me but also to my loved ones.
CONSIDERING THE BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM COCOON
Did you know that if you were to cut open a cocoon to help the struggling butterfly get out of it’s cocoon, you would actually be doing it harm??  You see that relatively ugly, slimy, can only crawl so far in two whole days little caterpillar gets to go into one of the greatest transformations that I can think of in nature.  God transforms this worm into a beautiful flying testimony in the course of a few days. But it is in the struggling that the new butterfly does while in the midst of the cocoon that he builds up his wing strength.
It is during the struggling that the strength is developed! Did you get that!?  If you were to feel sorry for this new butterfly and cut open it’s cocoon to ease it’s struggle, or allow it out sooner, even if the butterfly’s wings had fully developed, they would not be strong enough for him to fly upon!!  You would only have a more beautiful worm, that LOOKS like a butterfly, but crawls around like a caterpillar.  He would be freed from his temporary struggling only to be limited by his unreached potential. How very sad!
Therefore, I am looking at my current neurological and speech trial as just a temporary time of strengthening for me as well.  God wishes to transform me into the likeness of His Son Jesus. Although, I do want to get better as soon as possible. I do NOT want let out of the cocoon one second too early.  I don’t only want to look like Him, but also be able to have the required strength to act like Him.
If you were blessed by this posting I would love for you to leave a comment. Thanks and may God bless you!

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/strength-from-the-struggle-2/feed/ 0 Sensitivity and Numbness. http://ellen5e.com/p/sensitivity-and-numbness/ http://ellen5e.com/p/sensitivity-and-numbness/#comments Tue, 12 May 2009 15:09:00 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/p/sensitivity-and-numbness/ It is interesting that God seems to be using “numbness” to teach me “sensitivity”.
Sensitivity to His plans being more important than mine. Submission and asking for advise and help must be used when my own decisions are unpredictable.

My family and close friends know that I’ve been having greater word finding problems as well as poor decision making, memory, org. skills. Now it has escalated to include some other problems that I can’t ignore as being a flare up of Chronic Fatigue.

Yesterday, fatigue was horrible, severe headache and then 4:30ish numbness in lips and rt. side of face, stiffness in neck increased and went from just numbness/tingling thick feeling to sometimes burning.

This morning, I woke up to spreading of numbness down my rt arm.
RATS! God really wants my attention here I think.

I’ve just finished wrestling with myself to submit to God’s plan of not relying on my own understanding, which is clearly failing when decision making is so cruddy. I sought outside advise. It actually looks like I’m going to have to do the unthinkable and forego my fun plans for this glorious sunny day to plant and do gardening with my daughter. I was really looking forward to that more than you know. Instead wisdom says I need to go to ER.

I’m pretty bummed about that, but it is the “right” thing to do. I must be able to rule out stroke vs. just some kind of pinched or inflamed nerves. My family dr. said it’s up to me whether I go into ER or not! Thanks for no help there Doc. Seriously, he said he couldn’t diagnose over the phone, but nurse recommends that since its involving mental stuff, probably not just a pinched nerve. So she suggests I go ahead and go into the ER.

Other friend said better go in cuz no matter what, something is definitely wrong..

So I must forgo one of my favorite activities to go sit for hours in ER. Grrr!
Please pray for the situation. Tho’ I’m not happy about this, I can do nothing but what I believe to be right and trust that I am in God’s loving care no matter what.

My Title of this blog post is a great start off for a spiritual illustration that is brewing in my mind, but I am afraid that it will have to wait; I’m going to the ER now.

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]]> http://ellen5e.com/p/sensitivity-and-numbness/feed/ 2 Why I Tweet http://ellen5e.com/p/why-i-tweet/ http://ellen5e.com/p/why-i-tweet/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2008 11:08:00 +0000 ellen5e http://ellen5e.com/p/why-i-tweet/ Tweeting [posting a message on Twitter] IS conversation that is not just “for the birds”. It’s a way to soar to new heights of involvement in other people’s lives.

“A little bird told me . . . ” what did you hear, what are you listening to, what interests you and what of value do you have to offer others?

Twitter is a web service that is so easily integrated with other websites, phones and mobile devices that it is quickly becoming the primary way to stay involved.

I believe that Twitter is a valuable tool because it allows me to stay current with what’s happening right now in other people’s lives. It is a major method by which I can not only meet new networks and friends, but also build those relationships exponentially as we literally share our lives with one another in a messaging kind of way. These messages are sent in short updates based on the question “What are you doing now?”

However, that doesn’t mean to say that we need to know that you are blowing your nose or taking out the trash. It gives me “up to the minute” updates on what is happening in peoples lives: I get instant prayer requests, testimony to God’s provision, thought-provoking opinions and advice, leads and links to other resources, a wide range of TRUE HELP in a time of need. If too much noise comes from a source that I am listening to, I simply will no longer listen.

Just like in real life conversation you choose who you will listen to. “Follow” is the term that Twitter uses. Just as in a crowded room at a social event, you wouldn’t care to hear what every single person might have to say, rather you value listening to and talking with those who have something that you value to say or ask. What is interesting to you?

How interactive is it?? The crowded room is like a group chat in the new media world. A lot of different people are talking at once, so they have to be divided up into smaller groups “chat rooms” which generally center around some topic. However to participate in a chat room, or an IM chat for that matter, you must be physically there to take part. The conversation goes on without you and you may simply miss out.

This is a bit different than a message board… again usually centered around a topic or an email or webpost… which is posted then may be left for a while before any more activity takes place. Not necessarily at-this-moment, but when you get around to it. The posts are stored somewhere for reference and/or later action.

Now let’s look at Twitter. Twitter would be like the host of the party coming into the crowded room and saying, there is dancing in the Grand Hall, a buffet on the terrace, and by the way, a red BMW has left its lights on. If you were out of the room when the announcement was made your friend can restate what was said (Twitter keeps some of the more recent tweets), so you can pop in and out of Twitter and just check back. BBL (be back later) The announcements were made publicly, but a person chooses to act only on those things that are of interest to him.

My tweeting has gotten me into friendships that would have taken me much longer to find (if at all) just out on the streets. Twitter is a communication tool that acts kind of like a family reunion or gathering of friends. You get to know people by word of mouth: things they say, tweets about opinions they have, books they read, music and food preferences, and more importantly to me their overall character… the way that they live life.

Reach out… go to them…I see a HUGE opportunity here to bypass all the awkwardness of social boundaries like what do I wear, how do I act, who can I go with so that I’m not alone, suppose I don’t know anyone there… all the insecurities that can paralyze people in fear. I believe a lot of these concerns have crossed peoples minds at some time or another and driven them to the conclusion that going out into some social situations is just too ‘fake” as many people try to dress and impress for that first impression. Once people listen to others on Twitter, they get to know them before they go out in public places. Twitter is great for setting up a spontaneous get-together: meet for lunch, go to a movie, games at Lou’s… fear of rejection by asking out on a formal date is bypassed by “I’m going to —— wanna come?”.

I think that Twitter allows people to be honest and transparent in a way that frees a person from so much fear and rejection, and allows for true fellowship to take place. In my experience I have developed a group of people that I care for like family. When they hurt or need help, I am quick to encourage. When they celebrate something good, so do we all. That is BIBLICAL in my eyes.

Additional WITNESSING opportunities as postings demonstrate how a Christian lives in real life. Suddenly a non-believer’s aversion to anything Christian as being judgmental and hypocritical is challenged by the fact that there are several postings a day of how professing Christians are ‘walking the talk’. That all Christians are not condescending and condemning. That Christians, like any other person, are in process. We are ALL on a journey; and Twitter can help us take it side by side!

DARE—-Accountability – another benefit of the Twitter community is the fact that we can help each other remain accountable. Did you get that math homework done Jon? We essentially “spur one another on” — another Biblical principle I see that is assisted through using Twitter. We can challenge each other to examine our opinions and how those line up with the truth that we value.

SHARE—-By sharing what we experience, know, feel, enjoy, dislike, value and detest, we are opening ourselves up to the possiblities of helping each other,

CARE – encouraging and being encouraged,

PRAYER -praying for each other, giving advise and practical aid in specific areas that can be stated very specifically and in-the-moment. For example, “I am having a problem with trying to get my pictures off of the digital camera. Can someone help?” OR “My sister went into early labor, please pray” OR “I’m going to South Bend for the weekend. Where’s a good restaurant to try?”

For the most part Twitter is Public (there are privacy settings and direct messaging that can be just one on one) so many people can contribute to a conversation about when and where to meet, advice on problem-solving, recommendations on resources, when one person posts a prayer request or a statement about being ill or something, it is fantastic to see the flurry of posts that respond.

People do listen. People do care. Every person matters. Twitter helps communicate all of that.

Looking at INNOVATION as bringing creativity to bear against solving a problem, then Twitter is a very valuable tool in the realm of innovation.

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